Book 20 Chapter 08 星は眠る

From Chinese translations by 佚.

Draft: Version 1 - final
Notes: final chapter of Volume 20
PS: do not distribute this without my permission

---

A pure darkness existed within the depths of the forest.
A darkness so profound that it was impossible to see the boundary.

Not a hint of a sound could be heard, a room hidden in the deep mountains.

The window opened slightly.
Once the wind blew, the silk flowery lace of the curtains danced gracefully in the breeze, like the wings of a white bird.

On the white bed were two people.
The naked body of Takaya was fast asleep.
His body was exhausted from climaxing, lying face down, sleeping like he wanted to submerge into the bed. Lying horizontally, not moving at all as though he was dead. He was fast asleep.
Beside him, Naoe watched his slightly concealed shoulders attentively.
In this space, they could break away from the flow of time...
How gratifying it would be if they could really break away, and continue in this way.
Tears began to flow from Naoe's eyes once again as he gently caressed Takaya's pitch black hair.

Can they really continue like this?

To escape from humanity's time and life...
Becoming nameless objects,
Just making love all day long... sleeping, and then restarting the cycle, could they really carry on in this way?

Just the two of us...

If others knew of this, they would definitely sneer at his wild fancies.
Laugh at this weak person's hopes, his frivolous paradise.
He was still dependent on the convenience provided by the shrinking corners of this room.

Their love could not be described.

Naoe kept touching Takaya's hair as he listened to Takaya's steady breathing.
Every breath filled one with tender affection.
No matter how many times they had merged, his feelings of desire never disappeared.

He's a narcotic.

The highest level of narcotics. The more he was taken, the shorter the period of analgesia. It seems like he would be the first to collapse. The last drop had been drained, the person complaining tearfully that he 'cannot come' was really Naoe.

I only need my monster...

He [Takaya] was now in a deep, peaceful sleep, reveling in this moment during which his heart harbored untroubled emotions.
This was probably the only measure of happiness he could provide him.
Why not take advantage of the peace and satisfaction at this moment,
and let him be free despite himself.

Naoe grew distressed.
He could not imagine losing this person.
The day when he would lose this soul was fast approaching, but he did not wish to think about it.
He did not want to lose him.
However, in order to not lose him,
he had to kill him now...

--Kagetora's soul is about to reach its end.

That day, Kenshin had informed Naoe.

--That person does not have much longer to live.

An abnormality had arisen in Kagetora's soul.
Going through the 400 years of this endless life, his soul was now stricken with a serious illness.
Kenshin had used the stars as an analogy to describe the status of Kagetora's soul.
He was now an old fixed star that welcomed death.
However he was no ordinary star. He was an exceptionally large star. Once nearing its demise, stars of this sort would lose their stability, expand quickly to a distressing extent, and finally perish in a huge explosion. In other words,

The nucleus of the soul will fracture, and then disappear.

--If this matter is neglected, sooner or later Kagetora's soul will revolt, then self-explode.

Kenshin had been paying close attention to Kagetora's abnormality.

Kagetora's soul possessed a power greater than the ordinary human. A high energy star, will gradually increase in size and eventually be destroyed in a huge blast.
That is, the outbreak of a supernova. A soul functioned in a similar manner.
Kagetora's spirit had already attained an unusual blaze.
The more he fought, the more of these flames would be ignited, ever expanding towards the consequence of erupting.

Once the nucleus of his soul has shattered, his life would end. He would no longer be able to reincarnate.

It was the equivalent of the annihilation of a soul.

--But it is still not too late to save him.

To avoid the death of his soul, there was only one way.
Immediately destroy his body now and exorcise him. To strongly purify him via 'exorcism'.
As long as the soul could be cooled, it would not explode. Nevertheless, he had to remove the burden from his soul, to put an end to this person's life, to forestall the unnatural burning.
Although he did not know when his soul would die, as long as he carried out this task, he [Takaya] would be able to reincarnate. His soul could continue to exist in subsequent lifetimes.

--Now, just being alive was dangerous.

Because just being alive was dangerous, if he allowed him to fight further battles, it would only hasten the moment of his destruction.
Kenshin had considered the 'transformation of the soul into a giant star.'
In order to stop this from happening, he had a need for someone to carry out this exorcism.

Who is there...

It continuously ate away at Naoe's heart, as he looked at Takaya fast asleep beside him.

Now, immediately...

Kenshin had explained that if he did not end his life right away, Kagetora's future can only follow either one of two paths.
In other words, one is an explosion - the fragmentation of the nucleus of his soul.
Even if he could remove the burden of his soul completely, prevent his spirit from blowing up,
if he continued to live in this way,
sooner or later he would shrink into a small star, a white dwarf, and ultimately become a dead star.
Then this soul,
would no longer be like the rest of the stars that glinted with radiance.

The soul's demise...

In principle, a person's soul did not come to an end and retire after 400 years. The evidence being that 400-year-old onryou could be found everywhere. However Kagetora was not merely existing. Regardless of whether he was undergoing possession or performing an exorcism, all of these were an enormous burden that weighed on his soul. Perhaps, just the issues of 'life' was a far greater burden than anything else. He had endured bitterness and harshness for 400 years.

Additionally, there was the wear and tear owing to the ramifications of his amnesia from having sealed his own memories.

It was not surprising that he had ended up like this...

--This matter, I shall leave it to you.

Kenshin had finally said to Naoe.

--My child's, Kagetora's, matter.

Naoe Nobutsuna. --I beg you.
I have to leave.
I will no longer be able to converse with all of you.

--Even if he lost his dignity.

Given that he was no longer Uesugi Kenshin. The heir to the patron god of the North - Kagetora...

--I am certain you will be able to defend my judgment.

Kenshin's determination had been extremely firm, nobody could change his wishes.
Leaving Naoe with these words.
Kenshin had ascended to a path of no return.
To stop 'Yami Sengoku'.
In order to become a true God of War, he had to leave.

Time could not be reversed.
Naoe cried silently.

I don't want to lose...

He did not want to lose this person. This was his only intent at present.
He was going to lose him.
His soul would soon be forfeited.
The sign had already appeared. Takaya was now unable to control his 'powers'. It was not merely due to fatigue, which he [Naoe] had tried to convince himself with during the rebellion, but because this giant star of a soul had lost all control of its strength.

His soul could no longer preserve its stability.
Before it was too late.
Exorcism, in order to rescue his soul from death...
For the sake of saving and leaving...

Naoe caressed Takaya's hair quietly.
His fingers crawled from his neck to his throat. Leaving behind marks like they were engraved into his neck.
Naoe wanted to bite at his jaw.

This matter...

He held Takaya strongly.

"I don't want to lose you..."

Clearly, everything was just beginning now.
They could obviously continue in this way.

But there was no stopping the flow of time even if they were completely imprisoned.

Only the wind caused the curtains to dance about.

Embraced closely within this man's bosom, this soul, burning out due to a critical sickness, still slept soundly in ignorance.

I can't lose...

Naoe suppressed his whimpers.
He could give up anything, but he absolutely could not lose this one person.
He hugged the sorrowful star tightly.
The star was still in a deep sleep.

Takaya-san...

*

The two of them in this private room,
how many days had actually passed, how many nights?
In this quiet room of recovery, the songs of the birds from outside could be heard.
A room with no clock. He only knew that it was the moment of daybreak.
Curled on the sheets, a recumbent Takaya opened his eyes.

"..."

Beside him was Naoe fast asleep.
Nestled on this white bed, how many times had their skins touched each other?
Besides sleep, besides meals, it seemed like nearly the rest of the entire time they only craved for each other's bodies. How long had they gone on in this manner? There was no way of estimating.

From that time onwards, Takaya had covered his left eye again. Even though Naoe had said that he did not need to, Takaya was resolute. He did not want to increase Naoe's burden any more than necessary.
He listened to his regular breathing. Once he raised his eyes, Naoe's sleeping face was promptly revealed before him.

Naoe's... sleeping face.

This was the first time he saw it so clearly.

He only realized now that he thought about it, Takaya had never seen Naoe asleep before. Especially in this body. Although they had lodged together a few times, whenever Takaya went to bed, Naoe was always still calmly awake, watching over Takaya as he slept. He constantly got up earlier than Takaya too, Takaya had never seen him going to sleep. Since this had become the usual way of things, he never paid any attention to it until now.
Even if Takaya suddenly awoke during the night, perhaps he could sense it, but Naoe would always immediately awaken.

Thus he had never seen Naoe's sleeping appearance before.

But now...

Even though Takaya had gotten up, he still did show any signs of waking.
Takaya understood that it was not because his spirit was slacking. He did not awaken because his physical strength was decreasing. Exactly how large a burden did his body carry?

My internal poison...

Naoe's body was being eroded away as a result of direct contact with Kihachi's poison, he was slowly weakening.
Kihachi's onnen was not solely concentrated in his left eye. It followed in his breath, from his nasal cavity to his skin, in trace amounts, leaking out continuously. Just being in the same room was enough to be affected by this toxin, let alone sleep together so closely, it would be odd if the body did not come to be ruined.

They really should not be having sexual intercourse.
With one look he could see that Naoe's life was diminishing.

You're really an idiot...

Resurrection was not easy, it was a miracle hard to come by. If this happens then wouldn't it all have been for naught?
Wouldn't everything be wasted?

If this continues, you will die.

Soon you will be weakened to the extent that you can no longer rise.

But Naoe obviously knew and yet still desired Takaya.
Takaya bit his lip as he gazed at Naoe.

I understand now.

This man was earnest. He had sincerely made up his mind to stay in this place together with him for the rest their lives. He had abandoned the Uesugi and 'Yami Sengoku'. He did not go anywhere else but only remained in this small space.

Together with me...

Takaya's eyes were full of misery.
He understood his kind intentions completely. What sort of awareness had he embraced.
How had he [Naoe] come to love him [Takaya] in this way?
He already.... knew. Therefore,

Naoe...

He called his name through clenched teeth, gently stroking his hair.
Such soft hair. His fingers caressed his cheeks. Those beloved cheeks.
He closed his mouth and gently felt his [Naoe] lips in a kiss.
Takaya closed his eyes, then in a determined manner opened them again.
He alone got out of bed.

The forest was resounding with the chirps of the birds.
The grass was moistened by the morning dew, the white birch forest partly visible in the mist.

Naoe still did not wake.
Takaya changed his clothes in the adjacent room so as to not startle Naoe awake.
From the wardrobe, he took out the uniform he had worn in Aso, removing it from the clothes rack, stretching his hand through the linen in search of something. Found it. The object hidden within the folds of the clothes. He had obtained it from Chiaki because he had mentioned that it may be of some use.

Small, white tablets.

--It can be taken just like that, or dissolved in anything. Only one lozenge is required.

Remembering Chiaki's words, Takaya held the tablets in his palm.
He headed towards the kitchen.

He saw the wine cabinet. Stored in the cabinet were a few bottles of Western wine. His eyes stopped at one bottle that was already half-empty.
Takaya took that bottle out.

Hearing sounds, Naoe finally awoke in the bedroom. Upon discovering that Takaya was not by his side, he jumped out of bed.

Takaya-san...

Carelessly knocking over the sleeping gown draped over the back of the chair, he opened the door to the kitchen.

Takaya was in the kitchen.

Naoe heaved a sigh of relief. There was a bottle of red wine on the table, the cork had already been removed. Takaya had probably opened it.

Takaya, noticing Naoe, turned his head towards him.

"Takaya-san..."

Naoe sighing with relief, asked.

"Do you want to drink?"

"..."

Takaya nodded his head slightly and answered.

"I want to drink a toast with you."

Naoe keenly watched Takaya, who was wearing a shirt and a pair of jeans, for a short instance.
Then he lowered his gaze and smiled, moving towards the cup cabinet.

"Let me get the glasses. Do you want to drink here?"

"Bring them to the porch."

Takaya said.

"I want to drink outside."

"..."

Alright. Naoe answered.

While Naoe prepared the items, Takaya went to the porch and gazed at the white birch forest.

The outdoors were somewhat cold. But the air was very refreshing, with just one inhalation he felt like his internal self had been cleansed. Be it feelings of darkness or the difficult memories, everything had been sanitized.
If he always breathed this air, could the poison in his heart and mind perhaps disappear one day?

The sound of the birds sprung up again. As if receiving his now sober frame of mind, the many birds sang together in a chorus.
In ancient times, the twitter of birds could often be heard all around, since when had he stopped encountering this sort of mornings?

As though it was purifying his very soul.
The wind at dawn had purged his heart. He could not be anymore clear-headed.
If everyone in this world could experience this moment of blessedness,

They would definitely become tender-hearted.

Takaya closed his eyes in sadness.

No...

Perhaps the minutes of daybreak were so prominently serene precisely because the majority of people did not know of this moment.

Naoe came to the porch holding the wine-filled glasses, giving one of them to Takaya.
The wine reflected the light, its color similar to Takaya's eyes.

Naoe looked at Takaya, asking,

"Aren't you still too young..."

"..."

"But there is no such thing as time in this place, so it doesn't matter."

Takaya smiled.

"What shall we make a toast to?"

"..."

"To our reconciliation?"

Takaya hung his eyes. Displaying a forlorn expression.

"To... our 400 years."

Naoe looked at Takaya sincerely.

Takaya raised his face, lifting his glass. Naoe held his glass alongside.
When the surfaces of the glasses touched, a pure sound rang out.

--Cheers.

With his eyes transfixed on Takaya, Naoe brought the glass to his lips. Takaya gazed at him.

Just when his lips were about to touch the glass, suddenly,

Takaya abruptly dropped his own glass, skillfully pulled Naoe over, snatched the glass out of Naoe's hand and drank the wine, containing the liquid in his mouth. Then in a moment's impulse, forcefully pressed his own lips repeatedly onto Naoe's mouth.

Because Takaya had acted in such rashness, Naoe only stared widely in astonishment. The wine had spilled out of the dropped glass. With their lips enfolded, the fluid migrated from Takaya's mouth, Naoe did not have a second's thought and wanted to drink it even more.

Takaya did not immediately pull away. Having never had the strength until now, he was positively hungry for Naoe's lips.
As if he wanted to empty all of his yearning into Naoe's body.
Naoe widened his eyes still. Takaya looked at Naoe closely, separated by a distance such that their breaths caressed each other.

With a desirous look in his eyes he used his utmost strength to stare at him, as if he wanted to disfigure his body.

Firmly enduring his pain, Takaya uttered to Naoe.

"Goodbye... Naoe."

"..."

"Goodbye..."

"...Takaya-san..."

Naoe's breathing stopped. He saw tears welling up in Takaya's eyes.

A smile appeared on his [Takaya] face.

"I understand now..."

"Takaya-san..."

"My greatest happiness... comes from having met you..."

"Takaya-san...!"

A wave of dizziness struck his head. As a result of the sudden stupor, he was also losing his balance, about to fall at any minute.
Takaya left Naoe's side, retreating back step by step.
His body grew numb. Naoe pressed against his forehead, desperately trying to support his body.

"What did you... let me drink?"

The wine had been drugged.

"Takaya-san..."

Takaya did not answer, he was silently watching Naoe.
Tears were falling.

"I love you..."

In order to stop him, Naoe proceeded with a step to grab Takaya, but on the second, third step his body could no longer stand by itself, he fell to the ground on-the-spot. His body did not obey his orders. His vision gradually blurred.
Takaya bit his lip, slowly backing away off the porch.

"Ta...kaya...san..."

Squeezing out his entire strength, Naoe cried.

"You can't leave! Stay here! Don't go anywhere else!"

Takaya shook his head. He bit his lower lip hard and desperately shook his head.

"Don't go... Takaya-san!"

Naoe used his final strength and stiffly stood up. Dragging his steps as he tried to move in Takaya's direction to catch him. But the drug's crippling effect on his body was decidedly too strong. He immediately fell again. Numbness dominated his body, unable to move. He wanted to pursue him even if he had to crawl, but his sight darkened.

"Ta...kaya...san..."

Takaya struggled to endure the pain and tenderness that filled his bosom as he gazed at Naoe.

--It doesn't matter if I die like this.

--But I definitely won't let you die alone.

If he wanted to die, then they should die together. When the end could be seen, he might as well go to his death. After that, there would not be a second more to live. We have agreed to this. To live in a world without Kagetora was to lead a meaningless life. He had promised himself this. He, who represented the proof, had promised himself this.

--Whatever the moment, I still hope for you to live.

He bit his lip until it bled. Hopelessly trying to steady himself who was fast about to be defeated.

He [Takaya] would not forget. Engraved deep within his soul. Your promise, your weight, every one of them, everything.
"I will not forget you..."

Naoe had grown still.

Takaya closed his eyes tightly, squeezing out the tears, then stolidly turned to leave.
He left, his head did not look back.

"Ta...kaya-san...!"

His vision darkened.
Even though he had stretched his arms, even though he desperately called out.
His body could not move.
Takaya's form vanished into the thick fog.
The beloved form of his back had disappeared.

Don't leave...!

Naoe called from within the depths of his soul.

"Takaya-san!"

He never once looked back.
The form melted into the cream-colored spiritual fog.
As if from the very beginning, this person was an illusion born from the spiritual mist.
Like an illusion.
Ougi Takaya disappeared.

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Original fiction © Kuwabara Mizuna.