Friday, January 1, 2010

新春あほノベル New Year Silly Novel

Original text from Kuwabara Mizuna's official site.

The topic: "A Certain Samegao Castle at Arai City shall be hosting the festival known as 'The Legend of Echigo's Wild Kagetora - The Winter Encampment' it seems, and apparently there is going to be a play about Kagetora during the festival."

"Let's do this, alright?"

Kazuragawa Kei, of the theatrical troupe 'Wings of Dove', was startled.

"What the heck. You're saying this now that we're at the meeting hall!"

It was the start of the brand new year. Kei was called out by troupe member Takanashi Eri for the first shrine visit of the new year but was unexpectedly brought to an audition hall instead.

"The festival's gonna take place at Arai, Niigata. And there'll be a play. I heard they were having auditions. I really want a part in this, particularly the role of Kagetora's wife. Kei-kun, you want the role of Uesugi Kagetora, don't you?"

"Isn't it stated here in the recruitment ads that they want couples or newly-weds?"

"I don't have a boyfriend at the moment, that's why I brought you along Kei-kun--!"

"Who the heck is Uesugi Kagetora anyway?"

"Are you going to accept this role, Kei?"

Kei swung around, surprised by a deep, unpleasant voice.
Renjou Hibiki was standing there.

"R-Renjou...? (Why is he here?) H-Happy New Year."

"Not only do you reject my plays, you intend to stand on yet another person's stage."

(Oh crap.)

Kei thought. Renjou's face was pale as a murderous intent pervaded his face. Kei determined that if Renjou were to behave as he usually did by brandishing his knife in this place, he would have a brush with the law at the very start of the new year. The moment he attempted to make an escape, Renjou dived in front of him.

"What now, Kei! Is it really better than my play? Would you choose Kagetora over me!"

"Now j-just wait a minute!"

"It's useless, Kei-kun, when it comes to this man!"

The one who rushed into the hall panting was Chuuguuji Sakura.

"This brat has once again sneaked out of his house despite his upcoming deadline! Unbelievable! Thanks to him I don't have time for the new year!"

Renjou's face was pale, probably because of the approaching deadline for his work.

"You! If you've so much spare time to waste here, please focus on writing a few decent lines! Your head is always preoccupied with unnecessary matters, that's why every single time your manuscript is sent for galley proofreading, it comes back with all these shocking red amendments (Water... thanks)... Eh?"

Gripping the scruff of Renjou's neck, Sakura looked at the signboard standing at the entrance with apparent disinterest.

"The Legend of Echigo's Wild Kagetora? Kei-kun, will you be acting this play?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"I heard some formidable celebrity director will be producing this play."

Formidable celebrity director?!

The moment Renjou and Kei heard that, their faces turned ashen.

"Could it be Haibara!"

Suddenly, the doors opened.
It caused a stir inside the hall. Renjou and Kei both swallowed a gasp.
The one who emerged was...

"I am the director for this play, Ougi Takaya."

The one who emerged was none other than Takaya-san.

"And he is the stage manager, Naoe Nobutsuna. If you bastards give me shit, I'll send you flying into that ashtray with my powers. So prepare yourselves and give it your best shot."

Kei stood there in blank amazement.

(This is my 'master'...)

The curtains to the stage of destiny were raised.

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