この夜に、翼を track 10 夢よりも近く

From Chinese translations by 鹤鹤.

Draft: Version 1 - final
Notes:
PS: do not distribute this without my permission

(car stops)

Naoe: Takaya-san. We have arrived. Takaya-san. Takaya-san.

Takaya: (wakes up in a start)

Naoe: Are you awake? We have arrived.

Takaya: Naoe?

Naoe: Takaya-san. What's wrong? Your eyelashes are wet.

Takaya: ...

Naoe: Were you crying?

Takaya: I...

Naoe: Did you have a frightening dream?

Takaya: Dream?

Naoe: What's the matter? (smiles lightly) I find that you look a little strange.

Takaya: Where is this place?

Naoe: Odawara.

Takaya: Odawara? Why?

Naoe: Why... You said you wanted to come here. You wanted me to take you to Odawara after finishing our meal. What's the matter? Still dazed from sleep that you forgot about it?

Takaya: Ah... ah.

Naoe: The sea breeze is really soothing. Shall we get down from the car?

Takaya: Mmm.

(They get out of the car. Sound of waves, a car drives past. They come to the shore.)

Naoe: The night sea is really frightening.

Takaya: Eh?

Naoe: Many people have said so. Gazing at the sea from the dark shore, you can easily feel as if you are about to be swept away by the waves. Don't you think so?

Takaya: I...

Naoe: I like the night sea. It can surprisingly calm a person's mood. The sound of the great waves that you hear in the darkness, perhaps they have an effect that can calm the spirit. As though one has been enfolded, one can feel at peace. Takaya-san?

Takaya: Is this reality?

Naoe: Reality?

Takaya: Am I truly abiding in reality at this moment?

Naoe: What's the matter? Since just now...

Takaya: I feel really uneasy. You are here.

Naoe: Are you feeling uneasy because I am here?

Takaya: It's not that.

(Waves)

Naoe: What are you afraid of?

Takaya: Afraid... I'm not.

Naoe: I am here. Right here, constantly thinking of you.

Takaya: Thinking of my perfect self are you? You're too foolish.

Naoe: Foolish?

Takaya: Want me to be frank with you? Naoe. In reality, you are only thinking of me for your own sake. You can continue to retain this piece of love for such a long period of time despite not getting the slightest bit of reciprocation, this is simply because you consider this affection as an escape.

Naoe: An escape?

Takaya: That's right. What is all this talk of loser and winner, at the end of it you merely want to escape from reality. There is no life with your yearning. Within your turbid and brimming calculations, your yearning cannot be accepted in this system deemed as real life. The so-called ideal is but a fantasy. Isn't that right?

Naoe: Takaya-san.

Takaya: Your thinking of me, it's completely for your own sake. You are simply supporting yourself with that piece of emotion.

Naoe: Yes, it is as you say. I am supporting my own spirit with this piece of emotion. By constantly thinking of you, I can then endure the life of a person.

Takaya: A person like you can't be trusted.

Naoe: Takaya-san.

Takaya: That's right. In the end, you're only interested in yourself. Up to the very last, you're still only doing this for yourself. If this is for your own sake, it shouldn't matter even if the partner that you long for isn't me right?

Naoe: Has your unease reached the stage where you cannot help but have doubts?

Takaya: Unease?

Naoe: Doubting others in that way, showing off your power to others, setting up several layers of defenses, sometimes you will even come so close to cruelty in your suspicion of another, behaving coldly to other people and refusing to understand. The more you turn your back towards others, the more you wish in your heart that someone will pursue you. Just like a child.

Takaya: It's not that.

Naoe: Other than myself, there is no other person capable of understanding you.

Takaya: You're too arrogant.

Naoe: The one who forcefully made me arrogant is you.

Takaya: I don't want to listen to your confession anymore.

Naoe: Indeed. That sort of thing has not the slightest bit of significance. Foolish, hollow, unsightly, without any worth. Of no use at all.

Takaya: Enough.

Naoe: Excessively greedy, completely incapable of being a spiritual expert or a businessman, neither am I good enough to create another legend. Excessively timid, never daring to step into a church and neither did I realize that I had become a subject of ridicule. In order to retain the property that I barely have, I wasted all of my energy almost as though I wanted to die. (laughs softly) That is how I think of you.

Takaya: Didn't I say that I've heard enough?

Naoe: You are truly pitiful. Forced to listen to another's confession that you yourself do not want to hear. Before you are exposed by others, you are not even capable of a confession.

Takaya: I don't wish to confess anything.

Naoe: In that case... let me unmask you. Make you naked, releasing out the thing that you desperately wish to spit out. If it is painful, then allow me to liberate you. If you do this, it will make you feel comfortable.

Takaya: I don't want to be treated in that way.

Naoe: My attachment to you, is simply like self masturbation. I have mentioned this once to you before. You are someone who cannot even do this one thing, thus I will do it for you.

Takaya: Naoe.

Naoe: Until you are liberated.

(Waves)

Naoe: The Jews will not forsake Jesus again. I love you.

Takaya: Your love can't be trusted.

Naoe: You are... despising me. But even if you are, it cannot be helped. Because this man is probably the type of person that you disdain the most.

Takaya: Are you referring to yourself?

Naoe: Compared with other people, I only have a worthless, vulgar conceit. I cannot love a peer who is the same as myself. Regarding myself as the centerpiece of the world, thinking that one day I will make the other people kneel before me.

Takaya: You're too foolish.

Naoe: That's right. I am not capable of seeing the paradise that you seek.

Takaya: That so-called paradise doesn't exist anywhere.

Naoe: That is why you suffer.

Takaya: That so-called ideal, even if I have it, it'll only increase the pain.

Naoe: But even so, you still pursue it.

Takaya: That is what you selfishly believe to be so.

Naoe: You are the truth.

Takaya: I'm not Jesus. I'm not that sort of mighty person.

Naoe: Jesus was not some mighty person. He was simply a man who pursued an ideal that was impossible to achieve and died.

Takaya: Naoe.

Naoe: That man, will recover once again tonight. You are the truth.

Takaya: Even if the people were to throw rocks in contempt?

Naoe: Even so, you are still the truth.

Takaya: Even if I am this powerless?

Naoe: Only you are the truth.

Takaya: Everyone has abandoned me.

Naoe: If you have been abandoned, then please become someone who belongs to me.

Takaya: Belong... to you?

Naoe: Yes. Your person that only belongs to me.

Takaya: The only thing I can give you are the bones of my body. That is definitely not what you love about me.

Naoe: It's fine even if it is your bones. The bones that you become when you die, only I can love them.

Takaya: You'll obviously throw me away.

Naoe: I will not abandon you.

Takaya: That's just lip service.

Naoe: This is not a lie.

Takaya: It sounds just like a lie.

Naoe: My promise... will never die.

Takaya: Naoe.

Naoe: Your suffering, only now do I truly understand it. I am the only one capable of curing you. It does not matter how much you doubt me. If you will constantly doubt me, then I will constantly convey it. If you will forever doubt me, then I will forever convey it to you. You are the truth.


Takaya: Let me feel it a little more.

Naoe: Takaya-san.

Takaya: Your wings. I want to feel them a little more.

Naoe: I am around you. Beside you.

Takaya: (laughs softly) You're like a mother bird.

Naoe: Indeed.

Takaya: How warm... I still wish to continue to fly.

Naoe: To that night sky.

Takaya: To paradise.

Naoe: I love you. I love you so. Tonight Christ will recover. Even though we lost to reality and died, we will still be resurrected. Even if we stumble along the way, no matter how many times it takes, we will be resurrected once again, advancing towards the heavens.

Takaya: We are the truth.

Naoe: Yes. You are the truth.


Takaya: Spread out your wings. .......Just a little more.

Original fiction © Kuwabara Mizuna.