Book 20 Chapter 04 毒と紅玉

From Chinese translations by 佚.

Draft: Version 1 - final
Notes: 熊本 Kumamoto; 九州 Kyuushu; 阿玛迪斯 Amadeus; 萨里耶里 Salieri; 大友 Ootomo
PS: do not distribute this without my permission

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I can't be the person solely responsible for destroying the Uesugi.

The man did not know since when he began to have this idea.
Sitting on a chair by the bedside, Naoe constantly thought about the matter.

Takaya was asleep on the bed. After returning to the room, he had given him some sedatives to calm his spirit. He had stopped crying and was quietly asleep.

In that few hours...?

Looking at Takaya, all sorts of past events floated by in his head.

--The fact that you're here, there must be some kind of significance to it.

Tachibana's family appeared in his heart.
He had severed all contact with them for two years. His family must be unspeakably worried. He hoped that his vivacious mother, who was probably old by now, had not ruined her health by worrying about him. His father and brother, were probably desperately looking for him as well. Possessing this body for 28 years -- these were perhaps the most painful days in 400 years, constantly encouraging himself along, striving to support his own people, what has it all come down to now?

But, I can never return again.

His beloved family, his beloved home. They who paid so much attention to him, such tender people, thinking of them made him sorrowful... his chest ached badly.

I can't go back.

--A person must have meaning in his existence.

His father's words gnawed at his heart; everything that had happened in Kumamoto, the events that followed, what he was doing now, one by one they rotated in his heart.

Naoe laughed slightly.

It's impossible to stage a comeback.

A general without even the smallest merit. The more he thought about it, the more he felt this way. There were very few people who could be capriciously selfish to this extent and any subordinates that fell under his command were really just unlucky. It was inevitable that some would suggest that he had fled due to fear of punishment for failing in his military operations. Abandoning Kenshin's supreme order, "Protect Narita Yuzuru", as well as tossing everything else aside. The general had unexpectedly thrown away his position without any care, spending his days guarding the criminal, looks like the Uesugi should be finished.

What a poor handover.

If Kenshin saw this situation, he would probably sigh.

But, by entrusting the mission to me, sooner or later things would have turned out this way. Shouldn't you have known this beforehand?

One thing that was certain: The main culprit responsible for harming the Uesugi by suppressing his resentment previously and then defecting from his position, was most definitely him.

Naoe laughed at himself. --Piling all the blame on Uesugi, what was he trying to do?

Who knows how many people hate me.

If the Uesugi was destroyed, there would be no way to stop Yami Sengoku. The roars of the vengeful spirits would break up this archipelago, causing many people to be sacrificed...

Had he firmly decided that he was going to be an evil person?

--Have you really decided not to return?
He clearly knew this other voice in his consciousness, coming from his head, it only provided fodder for regret.

In short, everything is my fault.
Including Takaya's current condition. At that time, he should have withdrawn him from Kumamoto, no matter how much energy was required, he should have protected him earlier. But even if he had been on the river leading to island beforehand, what should he have done.

At the very least, he would not have been poisoned by Kihachi.

However, it was because of Takaya's presence that the island of Kyuushu avoided the fate of sinking to the ocean floor.

A great hero who saved the island of Kyuushu.
The other was a defeated general who only knew how to make matters worse...

--Those beneath you have made unpleasant remarks.

Naoe laughed carelessly. Of course those remarks have been made. A commander who conducted himself below standard. Had he witnessed this sort of operation by someone else, he himself would probably be too stunned to even say anything. If one was incapable of becoming a dynamic power and influence as the trump card in stopping Yami Sengoku, all of their plans would be nothing more than just a white sheet of paper.

--A powerless person such as yourself, only needs to obey me.
Really powerless...?

Whatever the reason, a defeat is a defeat. There was nothing more to explain. Just discard all of his failed contrivances from his heart, he had already been struck down.

As expected... this person...
Thwarted his defense barrier,
As expected, it is him.

Whatever Takaya did was correct without question. But he still felt hatred despite knowing this.

The crushing power of Kagetora's strong intensity, was not actually difficult to cope with; the most fearful matter was when he had no counter. However it seems that the problem has been resolved beautifully, without any deliberate intention.

I am still neglected.

When Takaya had come to Kumamoto, he unexpectedly forgot the image of Kagetora the moment he saw how frail he [Takaya] had become. He had probably forgotten that feeling. No, was it contempt?

--If he [Naoe] had been in his [Takaya] shoes, he probably would have had no way of stalling those schemes.

It was the keenness within his [Takaya] heart that gave him strength. The result? He not only foiled those plans, but didn't he save Naoe's life together with everyone else? He had the capacity to outstrip 'Naoe's competence' with just his finger tips.

What was most difficult to accept was that his goal was not 'Taika Rinhou'. It was to prevent the uprising of Kihachi's rebellion, not to defeat Naoe. This had never occurred to him previously.

However, the result was...
Naoe became extremely gloomy.

Kagetora's actions never seem to stem from any bad intent, causing Naoe to feel greater pain from the superficiality of his own good and bad intentions, his level was so low. He became clouded in darkness.

If I wanted to hate him, then I've found the wrong person.

The reason for my defeat lies with my own being.

Tracing the source of the problem, the reason was that 'the foundation of this body made a mistake'. He should have thoroughly investigated the truth behind the 'Golden Snake Head' beforehand, and not just accept Ootomo's words without question. Now that he thought about it, he had been really naive.

Even though he was self-aware, he abhorred having his blunders disclosed by other people.

Let alone be exposed by that 'Kagetora' person.

This sort of resistance was childish. He clearly understood that. He felt fortunate that this was never reported.

All these are just unreasonable antics.

But there was no way of relieving his feelings.

This person was obviously weak...
The more he unveiled his intentions, the more it displayed his narrow-mindedness, such ugliness. A truly miserable being.

Look at him. Two years ago, he had not been able to find a way to settle these troublesome feelings. Nothing has changed. He merely indulged in tall talk.... If only, he could just temporarily forget.

What, are you afraid of people laughing at you in shame?

Naoe laughed at himself.

Why bother about those judgemental people?

The so-called humiliation, was just a small matter.

Witnessing the praise he [Kagetora] received for being a great general, at the same time giving his people hope, this foolish desire began to appear. He [Naoe] strove harder to be adored by the common person, wanting to climb higher. -- When he could only see the form of his [Kagetora] back, his [Naoe] own heart's intentions were more genuine.

What about now? There was no way of accomplishing his excessive desires; be it his men or the Gods, everyone was now looking at him [Naoe].

As long as he had the same amount of appraisal and worship that Kagetora received from the common people, would he feel better?

If he had the people's adulation, would he then be at ease?

He had allowed himself to stoop to this level, misguided by clumsy ambitions. You are honestly...

Rubbish...

He felt a strong dislike whenever he examined his true self. He had been promoted in position, on the surface his disparity appeared to be reduced, he no longer resembled his former appearance of having been constrained, received modest praise, so he must now be relieved. Becoming 'Above Average' was more like being intoxicated with morphine.

Why did he want to be admired so much?

Why did he want the people's recognition?

"Of course I want that..."
Naoe said to himself in a demeaning way.

"Who wouldn't want the people's admiration?"

--You're really full of nonsense.
He heard Kagetora's voice.

Both of us are obviously the same.

But he was plainly not as honest as he portrayed himself to be. He had just too perfect a concealment. He was clearly pretending that he did not harbor such a profane lust, disguising himself with a saintly appearance, deceiving the crowd. The fact was that his original person surprisingly adored vainglory. He had really thought of himself as overly wise. In truth, he was just an ordinary man.

Everyone has been deceived by this person.

Despite this stream of thoughts, humans were not decidedly this shallow. One would already have a considerable degree of substance to be aware of his true self. Just like a mountain, a huge mountain must have a broad base.

He could still identify what was true in the sublime recognition he received to verify his self-worth, his exterior pretense notwithstanding. Going so far as to acknowledge his unmanageable being once again...

That is why he had stuffed his ears, to evade all the occasional flatters from the men without any exceptions. He only had to look at the excessive amount of praise and feel like slaughtering all those people spewing the admiration. He only realized, when he struggled with his pain during the night, how his envy had accumulated like mud.

"No, it's just as confusing as before."

Naoe wrapped his head in his hands.

Was it jealousy or desire that he had for him?

"Maybe it's the outside world that compelled this jealousy."

Because every time he thought of the world, it would cause him suffering.

If I could hide away this person...
If nobody else apart from me could look at him,
If only he was allowed to see his 'perfection',
I won't be wallowing in this nonsense, this hate and misery.

Lock him up.
Monopolizing him, disconnecting him from all mankind.
If just the two of them were left on this earth,
they would no longer be repulsed by all of humanity's conceit, and their hearts would no longer by afflicted by further disintegration.

The Salieri who envied his 'Amadeus'.
Because he was not the man the 'Son of God' sighed for.
For Salieri, if he could allow himself to praise Amadeus' music, everything in the world would change -- to one tune, and perhaps he could never kill Amadeus.

All the noise has disappeared.

No need for any worldly sounds.

All he wanted to hear, was the melody of that soul. Only that.

Lock me in your prison.

Naoe held his face with both of his hands, laughing by himself.

Just analyze yourself and you'll be at peace.

Thinking of this, he looked at Takaya who was fast asleep.
He had become this tragic.

Who was he kidding... All those previous words were really a joke.

Compared with your sorrow...
To what extent had Kagetora been strained? It must have reached the point where he was struggling with grief, hence causing him to enclose within himself.

Enclosing himself within the prison of his heart. Takaya's prison was far darker than Naoe's, and much more profound.
He wanted to submerge into his enclosed heart. Then, at its very depths, Takaya hugged his knees together, tightly.

It's fine if you don't want to return to reality.

Having abandoned the Uesugi yourself, you've also abandoned your existence along with everything else. It doesn't matter to me if you want to maintain this appearance. I won't feel threatened even if you don't do anything. No, it's fine if you threaten me.

That day, when we did not enter the Tsutsuga mirror,
if we had not express ourselves, we would have never found our ideal place.

Both of us should know that.
"It's okay if you don't return."

Naoe held Takaya's cheeks with his hands.

"As long as you're in my hands, everything will be fine."

There was no need for appraisal, no need for powers.

"Just you alone, can save me --"
From the neck to his throat, he pressed his hot lips.
Leaving very slight impressions, like marks.
The iron-clad feelings of desire to enter his heart.

But even if he touched his skin, or kissed his lips, Takaya still had no response. His body was just an empty shell. Kissing him was like caressing a shield, with no way of touching his organs, and even more impossible was reaching into his heart.

Naoe could not control himself and concentrated all his strength on devouring his skin. He did not care about leaving traces behind, his fingernails pressing into Takaya's body.

A smile appeared on his face, and strangely a tear flowed out. How powerless he was. --Himself being able to use enchantments to return from the dead, and yet,

Is there no way to let me into your heart?

"Takaya-san..."

His fingers interlaced with Takaya's, Naoe rested his cheeks on Takaya's left chest. -- How warm.
--A person's body is frighteningly hot in all honesty.
Takaya had once mentioned this.

His heart pounded strongly in agitation.

You're still alive.
Let him feel his own skin, his own body. This body was not a replaceable object.
Your soul is here within your body.

Naoe deeply kissed his chest. Pouring out all of his life's fiery power. In the 19 years that Takaya's body has matured, even if Naoe did not know his age, his heart would still beat fervently for it.

As if wanting to leave a vestige with his kisses.

On his chest.

Could he feel this heat? His body, previously fast asleep, shook for the first time. Like a current of electricity had passed his heart.

It's working...

He continued to engrave him more strongly. From his right chest to his shoulder to his collarbone, from his waist to his stomach... Takaya's head moved a little. Naoe's cheeks rubbed against his torso, his palms touching his skin all over his body. In order to bring Takaya out from his prison. Takaya, once again, shook violently. Finally, his hands came to the soft fruits. Grasping, like he was holding his soul in his hands. To be connected with the part of this person's, Ougi Takaya's, future...

A person's existence is tied to the future.

Naoe thought. For us to continue to possess, there must be some kind of significance in reproduction for us to exist.

Only, your sperm has remained in so many people's bodies...

Spiritual sperm...

A person's reproduction does not only include the body. A soul can also reproduce. That has nothing to do with gender. Every individual has sperm, every individual has eggs, each person could mutually inseminate and become pregnant, and give birth to a spiritual infant.

History was created in this way.

My spirit has always been violated by you...

He stroked away the strands of hair on Takaya's forehead,

Once a sperm has attached itself, a great deal of waves will be born.

Even though the both of us could never physically mate...
We have continued to reproduce spiritually.

I love you...

Naoe had exceedingly sentimental fondness for Takaya's heart. Takaya's lips were slightly opened, the soft sounds of his moaning slipping from his mouth.

He can feel it--. This honest response from Takaya, caused his heart to overflow with tender affection. His intense love overwhelmed all of his pain, feeling his chest bursting as if it was suddenly released from a clutch, tears began to fall. Takaya opened his mouth, seemingly in response, his brow gradually knitted together.

"Takaya-san..."

Naoe's kissing gradually became fierce, his fingers more stubbornly tormented Takaya. Madly calling his name like a musical ensemble, the piece of flesh in his hands increased in mass, as if crying in response to the heat in Naoe's blood, growing hard.

"It's enough. Staying here is fine. Just you and I for the rest of eternity...!"

--In the private room of this paradise.

Releasing a gloomy moan, Takaya unconsciously twisted or perhaps lifted his waist, his hands tightly gripping his pillow. His breath was hot as if he was having an obscene dream, Takaya painfully gasped for air.

"...become a slave, you will be saved..."

Pouring in warm mutterings, Naoe's moist fingers continued to stroke.

"Freedom would only bring suffering, become a slave and you'll be saved."

Takaya looked as if he was going to weep as he wrinkled his eyebrows, convulsing as he lifted his jaw. Naoe's gaze was burning as he whispered in a dreamy manner.

"If you're suffering then come out. Spill everything out."

If he could not reveal himself. If he needed someone to forcefully excavate him.

"You can't take it anymore, right. I will make you comfortable."

Takaya issued a soundless wail.
At the same time he released, Naoe's hand filled with a warm liquid. Takaya was gasping for air intensely; his body, stripped of all of its strength, lay paralyzed on the bed. The semen that shot onto Naoe's hand was like the crystallization of his soul's suffering.

For a long time, Naoe gazed at him.
Takaya slowly opened his eyes. Up until now, he had never seemed truly awake. His empty sight reflected Naoe's face. All of a sudden,

"!"

Naoe's chest was forcefully pushed away, Takaya rose quickly, fleeing to the other end of the bed. He quivered unceasingly.

He was afraid.
"Ah.. Ah......"

"Takaya-san."

Calling him as he approached, Takaya's face stiffened as he cowered in fright.

"Don't touch me... Don't anyone touch me..."

He has finally said something.

Naoe widened his eyes. From his comatose state to his regaining consciousness in these two months, this was the first time he uttered something. But his appearance was rather strange.

"What do... all of you... take me for... All of you... all of you..."

Who is he referring to?
Naoe did not understand.
What is he talking about?

"I definitely won't... I won't surrender... definitely won't... shame Hojo's name..."

"Takaya-san..."

"Don't come any closer!"

Naoe froze. Takaya looked like a child in immense fear.

"Save me... brother..."

Is he recalling the time when he was with the Hojo?

This was Kagetora before he met Naoe. The time when he was still called Saburou.

Why?

"...I'm not your enemy. I won't do anything."

Takaya did not believe him.

"What did I do to frighten you? Why?"

Takaya was extremely nervous, getting caught up within his fear to the extent that he was no longer paying attention. Seeing this, Naoe immediately held onto his hand. Takaya, wanting to escape, used his strength to pull away from him. In the struggle, Takaya fell backwards on the bed, backing himself against the wall.

"Stop... stop it... Why... are you always pursuing me..."

"Takaya-san..."

"Let me... go. It doesn't matter... if it isn't me..."

"As far as I'm concerned, I only want you!"

Takaya shrank into a corner.

"I won't do anything. I won't force you anymore. I won't do anything, trust me."

"Help..."

"Okay... okay. I won't do anything, don't be afraid. I'm just heading towards your side."

"No..."

"I just want to be by your side. You can just stay where you are!"

Takaya could no longer endure it and recited an incantation. Sparks sharply dispersed in front of his [Naoe] eyes, at the same time his cheeks felt a burning sensation of pain. Blood began to flow from the abrasion on his extended hand as a result of the spell.

Turning his head, he saw that Takaya was emitting static electricity all around. But Naoe was hardly afraid and moved closer to Takaya.

"!"

At that moment, the incantations flared up all over the room, but then immediately faded away. Takaya, wanting to escape, had been subdued and toppled on the bed. Takaya struck his head however he did not seem to react to the pain. Naoe pinned him down as Takaya, in a confused state of mind, continued to struggle.

"Nobody is going to come no matter how many times you call. Even if someone did, they won't be able to help you."

"Someone -- save me!"

"Let me help you forget this desperation."

"Ah...Ah..."

Burying his face into the curvature of his neck, his lips ardently pasted kisses on his skin. Takaya trembled and then his body went stiff. With the soft, moist object flowing all over his body, he felt his consciousness drifting afar.
He dully looked up at the air shaft.

"Father..."

Naoe's entire body shook, pausing in his actions.
Takaya's line of sight traced the interior of the room as he mumbled in a hoarse voice.

"Father--"

Naoe looked at Takaya closely. Takaya's eyes were not gazing at anything in the room, he was looking beyond the air shaft, to a high, distant, unreachable place.

"Save... me..."

"..."

"...why..."

"Kagetora-sama."

"Why... wasn't I... good enough..."

Naoe's face turned pale. Takaya uttered delicately.

"400 years... Is 400 years insufficent proof... Was I... unreliable..."

"Takaya-san..."

"My... 400 years..."

"Enough."

Naoe shook his head.

"It's enough, Takaya-san."

"My... 400 years..."

"Enough! Don't think of anything anymore!"

He could not bear it any longer and shouted out.
"Kenshin-kou is not going to answer you! He won't answer you anymore! So look at me! Look at me who's here right now!"

He [Naoe] was no longer reflected in his [Takaya] eyes.

"Look at me. Don't think of anything, just look at me. Just look at me!"

Tears began to flow out of Takaya's eyes, as if still wanting to say more, his mouth moving a little, however there was no sound. Naoe could not restrain himself anymore, and used his own lips to forcefully seal Takaya's mouth.

"Nnnhh...."

Refusing to let him open his mouth, as though he wanted to swallow Kihachi's poison altogether. Controlling poison with poison. There was a far greater poison adorned in his heart.

"You won't suffer. So yearn for me, just yearning for me is good enough."

Takaya, wanting to breathe, evaded his lips, but Naoe chased him with determination. No way to speak and unable to think. Feeling very much like being ravished by a hungry beast, Takaya struggled frantically. He could not think of anything else.

"Yearn for me. I've always desired you... desiring you alone."

The sound issued from his [Takaya] mouth changed into a ringing whimper.

Peeling off his clothes to reveal his naked self, he used his teeth to nip at his body, as though he wanted to gnaw right to the bone. Naoe, absorbed in his lust, wrapped himself around Takaya's waist.

"Ah!"

The chaos in his mind gradually disappeared. Originally struggling, his arms lost their strength and dropped onto the bed. His jaw was upturned as a result of Naoe's actions.

He felt like a prey whose body was being swallowed by a beast in the tropical jungle.

Takaya mumbled as he felt his consciousness being severely corroded by a fever.

"...who..."

"..."

"Who... is holding me..."

Naoe slowly raised his head.

"...a man who has returned from the Netherworld."

"..."

"Because of my boundless love for you, I killed the sentry at the gates of Hell to return to you."

Takaya's eyes quivered slightly.

"Netherworld..."

Naoe silently gazed at him.
Takaya closed his eyes, not long after his true sight slowly returned.

This smell...

He was finally alert, to this cherished scent. The smell aroused his memories. He felt at ease but he was still apprehensive. The slight scent of perspiration however, was soothing and had a calming effect on Takaya.

The one who possessed the body of Tachibana Yoshiaki,

Only that one person...
"..."
Takaya's lips parted.
As if to call that person's name.

Naoe nodded, his eyes brimming with affection.
Then he cuddled him in an embrace.

It's the same...

Takaya's health was affirmed.

It was the same pair of arms that had embraced him in the flames.
He felt the hot tears on his [Naoe] cheeks.

In the room, the two of them were silent in reunion...

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Original fiction © Kuwabara Mizuna.