Book 13 Chapter 07 振り返らない瞳

From Chinese translations by Hinako.

Draft: Version 1 - final
Notes: 櫻木町sakuragicho; 三方原 Mikatagahara; 普卡利栈桥 Pukari Sanbashi ('Floating Pier')
PS: do not distribute this without my permission

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"Here. This is the room key. Bye, Kagetora. I've already informed the receptionist to call us when Nagahide and the others return. About the gohou douji, don't worry yourself over it. Have a good sleep after bathing. Understand?"

Ayako's words resembled that of a guardian who was looking after a child, giving the card key to Takaya.
The two of them had returned to the hotel in Yokohama. This hotel was situated in the area of the Sakurakicho harbor. Since Ayako's own residence was nearby, she could actually return home, but she decided to stay with Takaya as she was worried about him.
Takaya held the overcoat left behind by Kaizaki to his chest.

"What should we do with that? Or do you want the hotel to return it for us?"

"...No need. It's okay. I'll take it."

"Really...?"

Ayako had appeared worried ever since they returned.

"Well, Kagetora. Don't you do anything strange just because you've quarreled with Naoe, alright? D-Don't be thinking of seeking comfort with other men. If there's anything, I'm still here okay."

"Idiot. What are you saying!" Takaya smacked Ayako's head. "My 'powers' are fine. Don't you all worry. Have some trust in me."

"I trust you. But even though I trust you, you're the type of person who bottles up everything inside your heart. Rather than let your imagination run wild, it'd be more comfortable to just say it out. If there's something bothering you, then just spill everything out frankly. It doesn't matter if it comes out as whining. I'm a fairly good listener."

"...I understand." Takaya smiled. "I'll ask for you when the time comes."

"Kagetora..."

Takaya wished her 'Goodnight', turned around and headed to his room.
As expected, it did not work. Although Ayako had spoken in a sincere manner, it was probable that Takaya had not taken her seriously. This was constantly the case. Was he feeling that he could not expose his weakness in front of his subordinate, Haruie, who stood beside him?

You're really an idiot...

Ayako understood. Takaya would certainly not reveal his own pain to anyone other than himself. He would definitely not expose this in front of others. If nobody forcefully dug it out, Takaya would absolutely not express himself. If no one compelled him in this way, he was completely incapable of showing his true self.
Perhaps he was waiting for someone to uncover his innermost feelings.

If it were you, you would've done this earlier right, Naoe?

At this sort of moment, Naoe would, even if he had to relentlessly pull apart Takaya's chest, pry into his true feelings without any hesitation. He would peel open that tightly-shut door to his heart in a violent, barbaric manner to liberate him.
However, there was now no one who could do this for Takaya.

But Kagetora's current depression, truly has to do with the fact that you're not here.

Ayako understood. Takaya had been attracted by the conduct of that unfamiliar man. Ayako, who had been watching from the side during that time, felt that Takaya's weakened strength had been taken advantage of.

That's terrible...

Of course, it was not likely that the other deliberately behaved in that way because he knew of Takaya's condition. But it was terrible all the same.
The covering of his back with clothes that had the warmth of a human body.
Takaya was in great danger after having been treated in this way. His heart, which was already growing frail little by little, would completely crumble in one breath. He had allowed her to see his tears. This could even be considered violence. Doing this sort of thing to someone, who did not have any immunity against warmth in the first place, was unacceptable.

Ayako faced Takaya's room, she pursed her lips in concern.


After entering the room, Takaya, now alone, did not want to take a shower, he merely sat on the bed.

Really...

Takaya himself was extremely confused.
That he would unexpectedly shed tears due to a small matter. Not even he had expected that. Just by sensing another's heat he had wept, this matter truly did not make any sense to him. More than this nonsensical matter, once the extent of his loneliness suddenly occurred to him, Takaya felt himself to be truly pathetic to the extreme, he could not help but laugh bitterly.
Takaya only realized it after he had cried. The object Takaya had been searching for all along up until now. That object which he was pursuing, that object which made him irritable as he could not acquire it, that object which he thirsted for.

The answered appeared in this way with such ease.

--The sea breeze is chilling. Please take care.

He felt that he had once heard this sentence from somewhere, Takaya rummaged through his memories. Who had uttered those words?
Takaya picked up the overcoat beside him, he embraced it with his arms, and placed it around his shoulders again like how it was at the cave. A gentle warmth immediately surrounded his body.

"...Ah, yes." Takaya smiled softly.

It was during that time...

It was during the hour of dusk at Lake Chuzenji, the very words that Naoe had said to him. He had uttered 'Please take care'.
On that dock where the cold breeze from the lake was blowing, Naoe had placed his jacket on Takaya's body, and murmured in this way beside his ear. He had been telling him 'not to expect any solace', only in that particular moment had he been tender towards him. Only that sentence had been affectionate, had been warm together with the jacket placed on his body... Takaya could not forget it.

Why...

Drooping his head, Takaya closed his eyes quietly.
Crying because of the heat of that unknown stranger, what was the matter with him? If this continued, he would soon be seeking someone capable of embracing him regardless of the person's identity.

...It shouldn't be this way...

Takaya unwittingly bit his lower lip.
How nice if he did not know of the warmth of others.
If he was unknowing, then he would not seek for it.
He was simply like a family cat that had lost its home. His body that once knew of a place of rest, shivered in the cold winds outside, searching for that tender warmth in his dreams.

It shouldn't be this way...

Who had messed him up to this extent? Why did he suffer the manipulation of other people?

It was all because of Naoe. Takaya had no reason to happily acknowledge the person that he had become. Neither did he have any intention of admitting it now. He should be someone who did not need anyone. He ought to be able to continue to live by himself. He had never wished to bind others to him, he had never boasted of his power... It should be this way.

But he cannot help but recognize that he was indeed showing off his power.
His entire body was filled with fear of the day he might lose Naoe...
His true self was gradually being exploited - that naked desire, the endless hunger, that day Takaya was forced to be forthcoming with the other.

It's all because of you.

Saying to him 'It is fine to wilfully pursue it'.
Because you opened your arms and allowed me to do so. It was because you let me behave like a spoiled child, therefore it was unacceptable. I truly wish to pursue it. Furthermore, I am pursuing it.

It doesn't matter even if I pursue you, right?

You said that you wanted me. Repeatedly desired me, did not want to leave me, but remain by my side for eternity. That you would not leave me in solitary. I yearn for you to behave in this way, you would allow it, wouldn't you? You have always allowed me to do so, right?

Is it wrong? Naoe...

Takaya believed this.
It did not matter how haggard Naoe became - how profound his desperation, in the end... Yes, he would always offer his unconditional warmth, deeply and tenderly embrace him with no wish for reciprocation.

--It's all right.... Don't be afraid.


I understand you more than anyone else.

Even much more than himself. Because this man had an excessive amount of self-respect, in the presence of a person that was more outstanding that he was, he would feel a sense of inferiority that was several times greater than other people. But Naoe did not end it because he felt inferior, he was always glaring at the place above him, constantly propelling himself to a higher position to achieve his goal. If he was more blundering than others, he would continue to pursue it, there must come a day when he would become more perfect than others. But because he wasted his fortitude for the sake of this intense ambition, occasionally he would lose sense of his true self.

But I know...

No matter how distorted he [Naoe] became because of himself - resolutely believing that this distorted attitude was his [Naoe] real self, Takaya would still understand. Understand that in the end, it will be made visible before him, his [Naoe] true character.

Embracing him tightly, conveying his warmth,
Showing his deep love without restraint.
Like the love that parents would shower on their child.

--I will stay beside you forever...

Uttering in this way.

--To protect you.

Telling him from the depths of his spirit.
He [Naoe] did not notice the true nature of his own love. Because he had been thinking too much and was exhausted, he had lost himself. But Takaya could always see it. Naoe's feelings that had survived until the very end, Takaya could always sense it with his skin. He perceived it with his entire body.

But...

It should not be this way. Takaya did not understand the current Naoe. No matter how long he waited, Naoe did not reinstate the manner he ought to have. Even if he took the initiative to request for his heart to be touched and stretched out his hands, Naoe would merely fleet past him. Words that he should understand were not conveyed to the other. The object that ought to reflect in his eyes, Takaya had yet to see. Naoe no longer stepped into Takaya. He obviously longed for him to come to his side - he should come, however it seemed as though he had forgotten the method of touching him. He did not approach him. Neither did he touch him.

Why...

No matter how coldly Naoe had treated Takaya, Takaya had never felt this way before. Even if Naoe deliberately ignored Takaya's existence and let him be hungry and thirsty, a certain shard would still be pierced into Takaya's heart somewhere and remain inside him. Naoe now did not have this. Even if Takaya sought for him, Naoe did not have any response, let alone a shard. Even if he wanted to fix the connection between Naoe and himself, the hands that he extended out would only float in emptiness, there was nothing to grasp onto. Could it be that he had lost the ability to hold onto him?

...Have I become abnormal...

The feelings that he sought for inadvertently came from another person's body.
The other was someone he was not acquainted with. The other probably found it convenient. Perhaps he had allowed another to see the extreme cold of his loneliness, so much that it had even tempted the other to take pity on him.

--Please take care.

This is probably what you wanted to say, right? Naoe.

Takaya pressed the lapel of the overcoat draped across his shoulders against his mouth.

Isn't it only right that you should be the one to warm me? Naoe.

He was trembling in the iciness yet Naoe did not notice. No matter how much he spoke his mind, Naoe still did not pay any attention. The way in which they had communicated with each other, that once surpassed the medium of language, could not transmit anything to Naoe now.
The core of tenderness that Takaya desired, the hunger and thirst had multiplied many fold. Whenever Takaya had wanted Naoe to touch him in the way he always craved for, Naoe would consistently give him a warmth that brought a miraculous relief to his body.

Why has it become this way...

Takaya did not understand.
Since when did their estrangement begin?

Or was it...

Takaya pondered, he felt a sense of dread.

Do you truly have no feelings for me anymore?

--Why did it have to be me?

The words he had once uttered echoed in his ears.

--If it was someone other than myself, he probably would not feel so much pain in his love for you. As for someone who can only lose to you...

Takaya felt a burst of sorrow, he closed his eyes.

--I hate you...

Am I... not even worthy of that now...

Was he not even worthy of his hatred now?
Feelings of a longstanding fear invaded Takaya.
It was always at the bottom of Naoe's eyes, his defiance. Now, he could no longer see it. Since when could he no longer see it? That was simply not an expression that he had overcome his defeat to Takaya. It merely disappeared. His yearning, his struggle... He could not sense it now at all. That pair of eyes, had an expression devoid of any feelings for Takaya.

Is it because of me?

Was he now something that had lost its ability to bind Naoe? Had he become someone unworthy of Naoe's attachment?

Is it because I've lost my strength...

Takaya felt a spate of coldness.

Are you disappointed in me?

Disappointment... This was the word Takaya was most afraid of. Disappointing others. It should not be this way. To cause him [Naoe] to feel disappointed in him [Takaya], to make him feel contempt for him.

Takaya was originally an individual who was extremely doubtful of himself. He did not want to become an arrogant person with no reason for having a high self-esteem. What gave him confidence, was the ability to support the people around him.

Naoe was more certain of Kagetora's strength than anybody else. So much that his own self-worth was crushed as a result of Kagetora's power. The more Naoe struggled painfully in that way, the more faith Takaya had in his own power. While he hoped to liberate Naoe, he also felt proud. This was his own strength.

Naoe had said that he worshipped him.
That was not only something definite. Consummate, desirable, furthermore he believed Kagetora to be the absolute. This was an intense emotion. So much that others called this his 'absolute' power. Perhaps, to Takaya who doubted himself, after being worshipped by another in this way, he could for the first time be sure of himself.

But. This had already... crumbled.
Starting from the bottom of his feet.

Are you disappointed in me? Naoe.

Takaya shivered in fear.

Is that why you act like this? Naoe.

Because I am no longer ideal...
Because I no longer have what you long for.
He was increasingly dissociated from Naoe's ideal appearance.
Is that why Naoe was dismissive towards him?
Is that why he could not see anything in Naoe's eyes?

Have I changed...

Or had Naoe himself changed?
Has someone more worthy of your 'worship' appeared? Because when compared to that person, Kagetora appears more incompetent. Is it because of the emergence of an 'ideal appearance' far more outstanding than I am? Thus you feel Kagetora too deficient to even threaten you? Thus you no longer hate Kagetora? Thus your love has become faint? Thus you are no longer bound?

Then what am I to you, Naoe!

Takaya nearly cried out, he clenched his fist.
If this was really the case, then there was really nothing more selfish than this. In the end, Naoe only loved himself. He merely wanted an ideal. He only loved his [Takaya] perfection. An object such as an ideal, can change anyhow, as long as there exists the passage of time. It can change very easily. Even if he [Takaya] took a chance on this worship with his life, it could only be considered as a temporary, vain attempt. No one would believe in this sort of thing.

...So is that why I can't give you anything?

Takaya covered his face and curled up.

--Always receiving, never reciprocating. Unceasingly accepting what others offer but you never give back anything.

--You never give back anything yet you seek for other people's free charity.

--Even though you have lived for 400 years, you are just like a child.

No...
It's not like that.

Up until now, he never returned anything to Naoe because...
He could only believe that even if he did not return anything he could pay back with his unceasing longing. What was called a 'loyal' heart. If not for this way of no reciprocation or recompense but a continuous payment in the form of yearning, Takaya had no way of believing in this.

Perhaps Takaya had been probing all along. Continuously probing in the long period of time, constantly ensuring that even if he did not look back, Naoe's love would always be projected towards his body.
He felt afraid, so much that he could not even look back. Should this love disappear sooner or later..., if he would feel despair from losing this degree of love, it would be better not to look back from the very beginning. If Naoe's desire left for 'an object that captures my interest more',
Upon turning around, his outstretched hand would end up in a void. If there was a chance that he would suffer this sort of betrayal,

I won't look back...

There was no reason to look back.
This was not to protect his self-pride.
It was not like that...

He could only feel his breath with his back. Before he was fully aware of it, he was already seeking for it. Had he left him and gone somewhere far away? Does he still pursue him [Takaya]?

He told himself that it did not matter when he had left. It seemed like he [Naoe] had prepared an escape route for his love for him. In order to deal with the other's loss of interest in him, to not feel pain after he leaves him, Takaya constantly told himself, even if he really departed... he [Takaya] would not be wounded because of this.
Thus, he would not look back. In the endless period of time, he bore Naoe's longing with the shape of his back.

--You don't return anything, you only want to continuously obtain love from others.

And yet you have constantly pursued this sort of person for 400 years.

Takaya replied to Naoe's words that appeared in his mind.

--What an arrogant person.

Yes, I'm arrogant...

Arrogant to the extent that he had no complaints even when thrown away. Even if you leave me, I would... have nothing to say...
As long as there was no way to abandon his [Takaya] cowardice and willfulness, this sort of relationship would one day produce a chasm.
A person who can endure someone who does not reciprocate but continuously pays back with yearning, obviously does not exist.

This is something that he should have known, right?

But, I...

Feeling the heat of the other person that lingered behind on the soft material of the Cashmere coat, Takaya closed his eyes. His torso recalled Naoe's body temperature. Those calm unmoving words, he suddenly heard that hallucinatory voice.

--Takaya-san...

Feeling Naoe call out his name in his ears, Takaya shut his eyes.
The sensation of being held from behind returned. He still had not weakened to the point where he had to depend on illusions. Despite admonishing himself, the hallucinations carried on at will.

No...!

He was not yearning for the skin of others. But his body violated against his will and was in a tumult. The sensations he had felt when Naoe had forced himself onto him during those several times, the parts of his body that remembered slowly began to heat up. Takaya hastily suppressed the pain that had begun to draw out on his body.

It's not like that...

His stiff hand began to move, Takaya wriggled on the bed. He felt a feeling of numbness wander inside his body. His fingers defied his own will, gradually sliding up his inner thigh. Takaya wavered.

"No..."

He did not want pleasure. He only wanted warmth. He only wanted the feeling that he would always be hugged even if he did not turn back. But his body had begun to desire a more profound object. It was as if the perfume fragrance remaining on the overcoat, that he had smelt from somewhere before, had been mixed with a love potion. An emotional impulse bubbled up from the depths of his body. Takaya clenched his teeth, he could not control himself, he yelled.

"It shouldn't be this way!"

He grabbed the Cashmere coat on his body, and fiercely flung it against the wall.

"..."

His breathing was in disorder. Takaya's eyes were full of tears, he stared at the overcoat that had dropped to the floor. He felt extremely miserable. He felt extremely irreconcilable.
Feeling empty, Takaya sat powerlessly on the bed once more. At this moment, the telephone beside the pillow suddenly rang.

"?"

Takaya lifted his head, in order to calm his delirium, he waited for a while before answering the phone.

"Hello---..."

***

The doorbell rang unceasingly. Feeling irritable and impatient for the people inside the room to open the door, Takaya forced the automatic lock open with an incantation and stepped inside.
Once he entered the room, he felt slightly dizzy when he caught the odor of blood, he covered his nose.

"Nh..."

"Saburo-sama!"

The Fuuma ninja accompanying Kotarou stood up. Kotarou was seated on the bed topless, treating the injury that he had received moments ago. Kotarou indicated to his subordinate to retire with his eyes, his subordinate saluted Takaya in a fearful manner and exited the room.

Takaya and Kotarou were left in the room.

"Kagetora-sama."

Takaya's shoulders quivered, for a split second he wanted to retreat. He was afraid of the smell of blood. Kotarou had a dignified expression, Takaya did not dare approach for a while, but still, with a worried face, he moved to Kotarou's side apprehensively.

"Is it okay... your wound."

"Yes... it is fine. It was treated immediately. Nothing too serious."

His upper right arm had been bitten by the cursed dog. Although Kotarou mentioned that it was nothing serious, the wound looked considerably deep in reality. On the bed were black needles and a beige sewing thread stained in blood. That was the ninja's emergency kit. Kotarou was stitching up the wound by himself. Placed beside him was the shell of a clam. The green paste inside the clam was a special ointment of the Fuuma.

Seeing the marks of a newly sewn fresh wound, Takaya experienced another fit of dizziness, but managed to show restraint.

"...That's good..."

Takaya had dashed over here in a flurry when he heard that 'Naoe was injured' over the phone. Assured that Naoe was relatively safe, he heaved a genuine sigh of relief. Takaya sat down as if his strength had escaped him.

"My deepest apologies. The Takeda had set up a trap. Our ambush at that place had been made known, the Atake ship changed its port of entry, and we were ambushed by Yamagata Masakage."

"Yamagata... The chief general of the 24 generals of the Takeda?"

"Yes. It was that Yamagata."

Yamagata was the ferocious general of the Takeda, second to none. He was an outstanding and elite figure who supported the Takeda clan in both politics and military affairs, he was brave and vicious, not to mention resourceful, so much that some enemies would abandon their post once they heard the battle cries of Yamagata's ambush. Yamagata had been in charge of the advance guard at the Battle of Mikatagahara, because of his astonishingly fierce military offensive, Tokugawa Ieyasu had also once felt that death was upon him.

"Yet another troublesome person has been resurrected."

"...It seemed like Nagahide pursued him. I went looking for him, but could not find him."

"I see..."

Kotarou wanted to dress the wound, Takaya fetched the bandage from the side. It seemed like he had decided to help him wrap his wound.

"...There is no need. It is fine, I can do it myself."

"It's okay."

Takaya uttered, he began to wrap the bandage around Kotarou's arm in an awkward manner. Kotarou revealed a troubled expression.

"Kagetora-sama..."

"You bastard." Takaya was angry. "Getting this injury unexpectedly, what the heck were you doing? It doesn't seem like you at all. Didn't I mention not to get injured when I'm not around?"

"..."

"But," said Takaya, lowering his head slightly. "If you were injured in my presence, that's even more inexcusable."

"Kagetora-sama..."

Kotarou understood. Since Naoe's death, Takaya had grown fearful of blood. It was possible that he remembered the smell of blood after Naoe had been shot and was bleeding. His actions would become strange for an instant, possibly because he was close to recalling that particular scene.
Takaya grew silent. In the silence, only the hands were at work with the bandage. His movements gradually grew slower, and finally... stopped.

"Kagetora-sama..."

"You don't call me 'Takaya-san' anymore..."

"?"

Kotarou displayed a confounded expression, Takaya slanted his head slightly, he smiled lonesomely.

"Why?"

Kotarou obviously could not reply. He was not aware of this matter. Even though he knew that Naoe did not address him as 'Kagetora-sama' but rather 'Takaya-san', Kotarou had not given much thought to this. (Of course, he was careful not to call him Saburo-dono). Takaya lowered his gaze slightly.

"...For you to address me in that way, I don't... exactly hate it..."

"Is it better... to use that name?"

"..." The smile disappeared from Takaya's lips. That impatience and anxiety burned in his heart again. "It's not a matter of which is better."

Kotarou stared at him. Takaya's tone became sharp.

"Then why did you call me 'Takaya-san' previously? It would've been fine to call me 'Kagetora-sama' all along, wouldn't it? Was it because you were worried about my amnesia? Was it only because of that?"

"..."

"Then there was no need for you to continue with 'Takaya-san' once my memories were restored, was there? Why? Why did you call me 'Takaya-san'? Why don't you call me in that way now?"

Kotarou was silent. It was impossible for him to answer this. Takaya was angered. Wanting to allow himself to cool down, he exhaled greatly.

"I'm not saying that it's better one way or the other... It's just that, I..." Takaya lowered his gaze, finding it difficult to speak up. "I've always felt... that I really liked... the time when you called me 'Takaya-san'---..."

Once he finished, Takaya closed his mouth. During ordinary times, he would definitely not let these words slip out by accident, let alone say it willingly. Compared with feeling humiliated, Takaya felt even more disconcerted that he would utter these words and quivered, his mouth was upturned in a grave manner.

Although Kotarou was thinking 'then I shall call him in this way', he did not know why he could not address him as such like how Naoe did. Even though he only had to open his mouth and voice out 'Takaya-san', he felt a certain kind of resistance, he could not articulate it.
Kotarou was confused over what he should say next. Seeing him in this way, Takaya could no longer keep silent.

"...I don't understand you."

Kotarou trembled slightly, he looked at Takaya.

"I don't understand why you've become like this. I can't feel anything from your body. Your current eyes don't reflect anything."

Kotarou was startled. Takaya grabbed Kotarou's shoulders and looked into his eyes.

"You can see me right? You can see right? Take a good look at me! Naoe, look into my eyes. Take a good look into my eyes!"

Kotarou stared at him widely, his face had stiffened as he faced Takaya. Takaya exhaled, with a powerful glare that nearly bored into Kotarou's eyes, he looked at him.
Kotarou gulped, his heart began to pound fiercely. This was the first time for Kotarou to be looking at Takaya eyes directly at so near a distance.

This is...

The Fuuma leader was nearly frozen to the spot unconsciously. That expression in his eyes resembled a sharp probe, as if he wanted to prod into another's soul. Relentless and without reserve, an expression that plundered into his heart and viscera as though it wanted to dig out everything. Kotarou felt cold sweat flowing down his arms. Takaya was extremely desperate. He desperately searched in the depths of Kotarou's eyes.

But in the next moment, there was disappointment in Takaya's eyes, he stammered.

"...Why..."

"..."

"There is... nothing..."

Kotarou felt a stroke of sharp pain in his chest, causing him to feel baffled. What was that pain? Kotarou did not understand.

"Have you given up..." Takaya asked weakly in an imploring manner. "Don't you feel anything anymore? You no longer care about whatever happens to me?"

"...whatever happens to you... this..."

"Even now, I haven't given up. Even now, I'm still thinking. How to handle this in the best possible way. How to handle this in the most normal way. I've always been searching, always been thinking, striving this much! But you don't care about anything anymore! You've simply given up! Why...!"

Takaya shouted due to his frenzy.

"Weren't we just about to start again! Didn't we want to start searching again! This isn't the end, it's the beginning! The two of us together! Didn't we want to find our ideal way of existence!"

Takaya could not control himself anymore, he finally yelled out.

"Everything was just about to begin!"

"..."

Kotarou's face was pale, he could make the slightest bit of sound.
Due to his hysteria, Takaya was crying, however he did not wipe away his tears.
Kotarou could not comprehend this at all. He could not bear Takaya's passion. Rather, he had been completely overwhelmed, let alone bear it. Kotarou had fallen into a state of semi-shock.

Takaya was in pain over his lack of strength, and hung his head.

"Are you no longer interested in me..."

"..."

"You... don't want me anymore?"

Takaya asked with a bitter intonation, biting his lower lip, he began to undo the buttons of his shirt one by one. Kotarou did not understand what he was trying to do, but Takaya drew open his shirt in front of him, exposing his wounded chest. Kotarou gasped.

Takaya looked at him with a sorrowful expression, he asked once again.

"Don't you feel anything..."

"..."

"Don't you have any interest in me anymore..."

Kotarou could not figure out what Takaya, who had exposed his body, was talking about.
Takaya hung his eyes in grief, he grabbed Kotarou's hand and pressed it against his skin. Kotarou was startled, Takaya placed his hand over Kotarou's and gently used that hand to caress himself as though he was stroking his scars.
In truth, Takaya was no doubt unwilling to carry out this sort of wretched act. But Takaya felt that, apart from this, there was no other way to determine Naoe's true feelings.
However, it was unlikely for Kotarou's hand to move without prompting.
Once Takaya was aware that the other had no response, he calmly released his hand.

"Where have things gone wrong..."

"..."

"Why have things turn out this way? ...Tell me, Naoe." Takaya muttered with a weary expression. "What are you thinking right now..."

Kotarou could not reply. He could not comprehend why Takaya would want to do this sort of thing either.
For Kotarou who would not embrace anyone other than for reasons of physical need, this was a matter he could not fathom. What would Naoe have done? In front of Takaya in this condition, what sort of measures should be carried out? He did not know. Kotarou had no clue.
That night, on the isolated island in the Inland Sea of Japan. The scene inside the cave appeared in Kotarou's mind.
Why did Naoe want to embrace Kagetora back then?
Why did Kagetora so painfully want to be touched by Naoe?

"...What is meaning behind this doing?"

At this moment, Kotarou was in confusion, like an actor who had forgotten his following lines. He had forgotten that he was currently playing the part of Naoe, and questioned Takaya.

"Will it do as long as I have feelings? Is it correct to feel sexually towards you at this moment?"

"...!"

Takaya was shocked, his entire face turned red. Kotarou's overly cryptic reply caused Takaya to feel puzzled for an instant.

"...You... What's the matter? Naoe..."

"What is the best thing I should do? Will embracing you be fine? Will it be fine to start now?"

"What do you mean by fine..." Takaya was increasingly baffled.

"I was not the one talking about this, was I? Why would you say these words? I am asking you, how do you want to do it?"

"How... to do it....?"

Kotarou pondered for a while. No matter how hard he thought it was still impossible for him to comprehend. Nevertheless, Kotarou considered the actions Naoe might carry out, organizing them in a formulaic way, he mulled over the matter.

Takaya could not take it anymore.
Lifting his head, Kotarou was alarmed.

"Kagetora-sama..."

"I've had enough." Takaya's tear-filled eyes were full of indignation. "I won't bother about you anymore! I won't pursue you anymore! I won't hope for anything from you! A person like you, you don't have to stay by my side anymore!"

"...!"

"Just go and die somewhere! Traitor!"

Takaya shouted fiercely and stood up. But Kotarou had unknowingly grabbed his hand. Kotarou forcefully pulled Takaya's hand over as though he did not want him to leave, Takaya lost his balance, the two of them collided into each other, crashing onto the bed.

"...Nnh!"

Takaya got a fright and wanted to get up, but Kotarou pressed onto him with all of his strength.

Takaya widened his eyes in shock. "...Naoe..."

"As long as I have feelings then would it be right?"

Kotarou, who was always calm and without emotion, was now staring at Takaya, breathing hard.

"As long as I want your body then would it be right? If I do this, then can I be closer to you!"

"..."

Looking up at Kotarou, Takaya probably felt that something was different. His face stiffened as he widened his eyes, he shook his head as though he was saying 'No'. But Kotarou did not let him go.
Kotarou buried his head in his neck, Takaya struggled, wanting to push away Kotarou's head.

"Stop... it..."

"...As long as... I do this...!"

"You're... heavy..."

Takaya pushed back Kotarou's shoulders with his utmost strength, wanting to escape to the side, but his chest was held down by Kotarou, he could not move. Feeling his soft lips slide down his neck, Takaya desperately turned his head away and shut his eyes.

"...Let go... of me..." Takaya uttered in a coarse voice, panting. "Who... are you..."

Kotarou gasped in shock. Takaya looked really strange. His face was turned to the side and he was gasping painfully.

"A person like you... I..."

"..."

Kotarou was at a loss. He thought that Takaya had undone his hypnotism. Takaya's eyes were closed, his brow was creased in a miserable grimace as he lied on the bed.

"...Saburo-dono..."

Despite addressing him in this way, Takaya did not hear it. He looked like a feeble young bird, near death, lying powerlessly beneath Kotarou's body. Kotarou slowly lifted his upper body, moving away from Takaya. Takaya only turned his eyes towards him. Kotarou stood up from the bed.

"Please forgive me for my rude actions."

Apologizing without much emotion, Kotarou regarded Takaya in a perfunctory manner.

"Kagetora-sama."

Kotarou called out, stretching his hand towards Takaya.
Takaya turned his face towards him, he held onto Kotarou's outstretched hand with apprehension. Assisted by Kotarou, Takaya sat up on the bed.

"..."

Takaya was gazing continuously at Kotarou's face. Kotarou looked at Takaya's face with his usual expressionless countenance. Takaya moved his lips, calling out his name.

"...Naoe..."

Kotarou knitted his brows as though he was feeling pain, he quietly nodded.
Takaya closed his eyes wearily, he drooped his head.
Kotarou stood beside him, he continued to look at Takaya in this way.

***

Meanwhile, Ayako had slipped out of the hotel very late that night, and arrived at the 'Floating Pier' behind the hotel, which was the maritime passenger transportation center.
It was deep into the night, there was no sign of the lovers that usually occupied the bench in that area possibly because of the cold sea breeze.
As she listened to the waves crashing against the pier, Ayako turned around to face the space devoid of any people.

"Come out. This place should be fine, right? Don't covertly follow behind, it's about time you come out for a little chat. Sister."

"..."

As though responding to Ayako's words, a woman attired in a short waist coat appeared from the darkness. It was Nikaido Reiko. After spotting Takaya and the others at Enoshima, she had followed them all the way here, watching each and every one of their actions. Apparently, Ayako had been aware of her presence ever since.

"You don't look like a subordinate of the onshou. Who are you? Why are you following us?"

Reiko did not look panicky. She probably had the feeling that the other had likely discovered that she was following them. Reiko focused her attention, she solemnly stated her name.

"I am Nikaido Reiko. I'm in the process of investigating the curse that is related to the death of Gotou, a member of parliament."

"Curse..." Ayako frowned. This was not an issue that the average person would casually speak of. "Who are you? You don't look like the police either."

Reiko took out a black identification tag from her coat, opening it to show Ayako. It was an ID card with a photograph, very much like that of a driver's license.

"I'm a special investigator from the committee of the National Public Security. You all are important witnesses for the occurrences at 'Strange Area Designated #36' that we're in charge of. Kadowaki-san."

She knew Ayako's name. Had she inquired at the reception?

"Ougi Takaya." Reiko said. "Can you let me meet with this youth? It's about whether he's involved in this curse incident, I have a lot of questions to ask him."

"What happened?" Ayako looked clearly displeased. "Are you suggesting that we're the ones who carried out the curse? Don't talk nonsense, why would we want to curse some congressman?"

"You mean to say that you all have nothing to do with this?"

"Of course we don't."

"Then why did you go to that cave?"

"To investigate something. What's with the cave again? The cave and the curse have..."

Leaving her sentence half-finished, Ayako uttered an 'Ah' as she grew aware of the implications.
"Don't tell me, that congressman who was killed by the curse had opposed the plans of the board?"

"The plans?"

This time, it was Reiko who felt suspicious.
"Are you referring to the tourism reconstruction plans? You even know about this? How did you all know about this?"

"This matter is getting troublesome."
Ayako did not pay attention to the other's vacillating thoughts, she began to groan.
"Those brats really went so far as to do this sort of thing."

"Those brats... Do you know something? Could it be that you know who the criminal is?"

"Say, sister." Ayako smiled amiably. "Let's not stay in this freezing place, want to come to my room? My lodge mate won't be returning tonight, so there's one empty bed. Let's discuss this over a cup of coffee."

Ayako's eyes were serious.
"I want to ask about the case regarding the city councilor who got cursed."

---

Original fiction © Kuwabara Mizuna.