Book 06 Chapter 09 鏡の中の獣 Naoe-Haruie excerpt

From chinese translations done by Hinako.

Draft: Version 2 - final
Notes:
PS: do not distribute this without my permission

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"Takaya is missing?"
Naoe, using the public phone in the main hall of the hotel, shouted into the receiver.
"How did this happen? Haruie. What happened to him!"
This happened the other night. Since then, Naoe continued to stay in the Maiko family's hotel beside Lake Chuzenjiko.
On the other side of the receiver, Ayako replied in embarrassment. Ayako was currently at her residence in Yokohama. Naoe was about to ask Ayako to do a search on the Tsutsuga mirror, but instead was informed by Ayako of the incident at Nerima city the day before and of Takaya having not returned to Matsumoto after going off by himself. Naoe was in complete consternation, his tone of voice growing harsh as he spoke, "Why did you let him go alone?" , "Leaving him to return by himself is outrageous!" and so on. Naoe's fury and severe assignment of blame to Ayako caused her to become upset.

"It's no use getting angry! If you want to accuse somebody then you're the one to blame! It's your fault. Why didn't you accompany him back? Isn't it your duty to be at Kagetora's side?"

Naoe widened his eyes in shock.

"Even though you have no idea what happened, you can't not be by Kagetora's side! You can't leave him! Why did you go to Nikko? Leaving Kagetora like this without any concern whatsoever, just what are you trying to do! I really can't take this anymore!"

"..."

Naoe silently wrinkled his brow. Ayako could no longer bear with Naoe's way of evading his own problems and putting the blame on other people. It was also because she could sympathize with and was more worried for Naoe than Chiaki was. Even if others found Naoe's anguish to be overwrought, Ayako understood Naoe's feelings, therefore always exercised caution in her choice of words.
But now she could no longer restrain herself. Ayako honestly felt that Naoe relied too much on wild hope and was being self-centred, and thus could not help but be stern with her words.

"You still have Kagetora around! You ramble on endlessly about a whole bunch of matters, but the most important person to you isn't by your side! You are really slow-witted when all is said and done! No matter what happens, at the end of the day, isn't he still here!"

"Haruie..."

"What is it exactly that's holding you back! Don't you love Kagetora! More than anyone else! All this talk of not being able to reach a resolve are just lies! You really shouldn't leave him again! You should be with him, every minute, every second!"
Ayako was expressing her innermost feelings, her voice eventually breaking into a whimper.

"Why are you crying, Haruie?"

"I, I don't know! Because you're too dense, which I find detestable! As for me, I've waited two hundred years and still haven't seen him... Even if I do meet him, I can't be sure if that person is really him! You're really careless! Downright careless!"

"..."

Ayako was referring to her lover from two hundred years ago. Hearing Ayako cry on the other end of the phoneline, Naoe felt perplexed.

"...I understand. Don't cry..."

"You don't understand! A person like you would never understand! You still have him! Isn't that enough to be happy! You don't understand at all!"

Ayako was hysterical over the current situation. It was almost like a quarrel between lovers, Naoe thought, laughing softly.

"Don't cry anymore... you'll make me worry."

"If you really feel that way then start looking for Kagetora immediately. Kagetora is waiting for you, go to him quickly. During that time, it was certain that... In spite of the Minako incident, he still needs you."

The smile immediately disappeared from Naoe's face. His expression appearing slightly dismal as he lowered his head.
"If... that is the case, that would be good."

"Don't ever leave his side. Don't leave him again. This is for your own sake."

For my own...?

Naoe's lips mumbled in self-ridicule. The pain he suffered from not being able to leave him. Unable to part from the sovereign... his one and only dictator, to leave him would mean misery.

Isn't it the end?

He mumbled repeatedly in self-confirmation.
It was time for the four hundred years of this journey to come to a close... This military campaign was meant to end conflicts. There will not be another war to come. This was a fight to end all wars.
He had already decided that he will die once Yami Sengoku is over. And that will be the day he bids farewell to Kagetora, the closure to his life as 'Naoe Nobutsuna'. He would be free from the pain of loving this one person. Perpetually unable to escape from his side, there was no other alternative except to abandon his life.

To say goodbye to everything...

Let this Yami Sengoku end... Until this objective was achieved, he had allowed himself to live. Even though he had long endured this suffering, it did not matter any more. His past would be extinguished. Regardless of his desires, the Minako incident, the sins he has committed, everything will be obliterated...
Away from the unwitting dictator -

As long as he was not by his side, he would be liberated...

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Original fiction © Kuwabara Mizuna