Book 20 Chapter 03 真夜中の鳥たち

From Chinese translations by 佚.

Draft: Version 1 - final
Notes: 鬼八 Kihachi; 吉江 Yoshie; 鲶川 Ayukawa; 色部 Irobe; 男体山 Nan-tai san; 怨念 onnen (grudge/malice/hatred); 不動明王/不动明王 Fudoumyouou (Acala / Acalanatha Vidya-raja / The Immovable, a manifestation of Mahavairocana - Buddhist deity); 辉炎石 kien ishi (luminous flame stone); 靈山 Mount. Reizan; ryoku (energy/power)
PS: Do not distribute this without my permission.

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Ougi Takaya looked towards him. Naoe held his gaze, holding the door open as he pushed the trolley in, slowly approaching him.
"It's not very good for your health to let the wind blow too much at your body."

After securing the trolley, he closed the glass window. The window curtains that were originally moving in cascades in a lively manner, became stationary. Thereafter, nothing moved in the room.

"I've boiled some soup. Not eating anything is detrimental to your health. Drink this while it's still hot."

Takaya's forlorn eyes looked towards the outside once again.

"Takaya-san."

Even when he called him, there was no answer.

He probably did not hear Naoe's words as he gazed callously out the window.

Takaya had been in this state for the past few days.

Enclosed within himself, day after day, always sitting on the bed. Even though he had recovered consciousness and was alive, he behaved like someone suffering from dementia, as he sat without any expression on his face.

He never ate once.

"No appetite?"

Takaya was silent.

"Just eat a little, otherwise your body won't be able to support itself any longer."

He continued to gaze outside.

Naoe stood between the window and Takaya, looking at Takaya silently. Then he suddenly moved towards Takaya, his hand reaching for his forehead. Midway,
"!"

There was an unexpected response. Takaya, alarmed, forcefully pushed his hand away.

Naoe looked at Takaya in astonishment. Takaya's right eye was suffused with a murderous look, staring at Naoe.

Left side

He did not allow him to stand on his left side because of his left eye, which was covered with a gauze. He was simply a wounded wild beast. Even though he was in a dazed predicament, Takaya still shot a look of askance at Naoe, using only his right eye. Naoe slowly shifted.
This unexpected look of warning.
He felt a hair-raising sensation all over his body. Just by looking at him, he felt like he could not breathe.

"I only wanted to check if you have a fever."
Naoe explained.

"Why are you so wary?"

"..."

"What are you afraid of?"

Like a tide ebbing away, the forceful gaze faded from Takaya's eyes. He reverted back to his expressionless face, his dull eyes, once again, looking out towards the porch.

Outside, the moonlight was obstructed by the proliferating mist, which filtered out bizarre colors that diffused across the thicket of trees.

After that, Takaya was no longer facing Naoe. In order to feed him, Naoe had no choice but to sit beside him. Even though the bed sank slightly under his body weight, there was no response from Takaya.

"Would you turn around?"
Naoe said as he unfolded the napkin for Takaya, placing the bowl of soup on his knee. Then he scooped a spoonful.
"Just for a little while."

Takaya only looked out the window.

There should not be anything interesting on the outside.

Naoe's heart filled with ache, seeing Takaya in this manner. Naoe drew out his hand in a non-threatening manner and gently caressed Takaya's hair.

A light rasping sound, cherishing the feeling of that touch, his fingers running through the smoothness. Even so, Takaya remained emotionless. He had always been fond of having someone comb his hair in this way. Just by stroking his hair, he would usually display a very gratified appearance... that should be the way.
"..."

Naoe bent his fingers and calmly tucked them in a fist.
"Takaya-san..."

Naoe grasped Takaya's jaw, turning his face towards him. Despite trying to feed the soup into his mouth, the liquid only wet Takaya's lips and flowed down at the sides.

But he could not give up. Takaya had not eaten anything for two days.

Naoe filled some soup into his mouth while holding Takaya's jaw in his hand. It was not easy opening Takaya's mouth as he used his own lips to feed Takaya.
It did not work the first time. After three tries, he could hear Takaya finally swallowing. When his lips separated, his [Takaya] vision went askew. Takaya looked at him with apathetic eyes. He [Naoe] alone had the intense sight, but none existed in these eyes [Takaya]. Like a fish out of water.

He gave him another mouthful. This time, he overdid it due to his frustration, and had to pat his [Takaya] back to avoid choking. Then he continued to feed Takaya using this method. Takaya did not show any signs of wanting more nor did he reject.

It was like tending to a child, wiping away the smear on the edge of his lips, then helping him to change his shirt. After all was done, Takaya returned to his state of staring out the window.

"...If you need anything, just press this bell. I'll be in the room next door."

There was no answer.

Naoe cleared the trolley and left the room.
The sound of the door closing echoed from the four corners of the walls.
In the silence, green rays of light coldly entered the room.

*

In the dead of the night.
The hands of the clock indicated an hour past midnight.
Naoe remained in the kitchen without turning on the lights, spreading the cooking utensils in the basin, only soaking them in water without washing them, then took out a bottle of mineral water from the fridge.

He was very thirsty.

-- You can't go on like this without eating.
Don't put in so much.
He had not eaten anything himself. Even though he did not drink, he nibbled on a dry biscuit, from what was left of their food stores.
He did ponder over the matter himself, what would happen without the staple meal of rice, but the fact was that he had no appetite. Taking care of Takaya consumed a considerable amount of his energy, his heart and body were utterly wearied such that he did not feel any hunger.

--It was truly troublesome.
Remembering Ayukawa's words, Naoe laughed bitterly.
Even with this unexpected tiredness, he still had not gotten anywhere in terms of recovery.
He sat on the bar stool.

The mineral water in the cup, reflecting the events of that day like a movie screen.

The sound of Takaya's cry, including,
the red lotus blaze...
During that time----
The flames released from Takaya had engulfed the crater of Mt. Naka-dake like a tsunami.
Kihachi, utilizing their final strength, had struck with all of their resentment, then transformed into a black flame that escaped Takaya's body. The one race of Kihachi, scattering out in four streams of particles, inducing a surge of a myriad of feelings within Takaya, resonating, cracking and finally a large, concentrated amount of power that uncovered his deepest memories.

In that frozen moment in time, as if his knowledge was suddenly recovered, like the reel of a tape relieved from its static condition, Takaya's feelings unraveled within the frames of memories as they started to move.

If he had continued in this frenzy, his spirit would have been thoroughly destroyed. He would have died from insanity as everyone had feared.

At that time... when he was about to be submerged in the fires, Naoe had hastily rushed towards him, embracing him.

If he had waited a little longer...

He may not have been able to save him.

Takaya's blaze, astonishing in temperature and intensity, had swallowed everyone around him. His unstoppable power, overflowing from the loss of control, had rebelled against everything.

It had been simply Hell. The sea of fire that had emanated from him not only burnt friend and foe but Takaya himself.
When he had been rescued from the blaze, he had sustained severe burns to his back. Not even Naoe's care could fully remove all of the burns. Takaya, completely defenseless, had incurred a considerable amount of damage to most of his body.

He did not know if he had really saved him.

However Takaya was not dead.

It was not a miracle that helped him to salvage his life, it was because of the kien ishi. At that time, the kien ishi had not fully disappeared. It was the 'people of the Fire Sign', who employed a system of crystallizing volcanic ryoku, who had saved Takaya. After penetrating through the sea of flames, Naoe had brought Takaya out from the volcano's crater.

But he did not return to Yoshie's company.

Naoe had specifically descended the mountain in another direction, taking Takaya into hiding in the lava caves near the foot of the hills and there he had called Ayukawa for help.

He placed the communicator he had used at that time on the bar table. From the rays of light infiltrating the dark room he could see the shape of its exterior; during those desperate times, he would receive an urgent signal every time he opened the device. He had entrusted the communicator to Ayukawa.

Telling him that, if the device sounded,
--hide it from everyone else, come and look for me.
He could not give the communicator to Irobe, not even Hakkai. Ayukawa was an old friend. Because he knew when to choose a 'friend' over his 'leige', Naoe had entrusted it to him.

Ayukawa had come as according to their promise.
--I thought I could not make it in time.
Ayukawa had recalled the circumstances that transpired between the two of them.
--I was thinking someone had committed suicide out of love.
This train of thought was not unreasonable. It was not easy looking for Naoe, searching until his muscles were spent, he [Naoe] was unconscious when he [Ayukawa] finally found them. With both of their clothes ragged, Naoe had been leaning against a rock, holding onto Takaya in a protective manner. Takaya, badly injured, had seemed sound asleep looking like he was dead.


No one in the Uesugi army knew of the hideout, a mountain lodge, that Ayukawa had prepared. Nearby was Mt. Reizan where monastic activities were often carried out, the land was a very suitable place for recuperation. Even though the amount of fresh air could not be compared to Mt. Nan-tai, it was sufficient for this short period of time.

When Naoe was there he almost immediately awakened but Takaya remained comatose for a month. He had looked after Takaya while he himself was recovering. Fortunately, the course of events went smoothly. Originally, he thought that a skin transplant would be needed to replace the scalded areas but the kien ishi was still effective. He seemed to have healed completely. When the kien ishi was finished, all the scars had almost disappeared, only a few remained on his shoulder.

But the problem did not lie in the burns.

He never expected him to turn out like this.

Naoe drifted in and out of consciousness as he held on to the glass cup.

The problem was, Kihachi's onnen. When Kihachi was about to be exorcised within the circle of light, not all of the malice that had struck Takaya's body had been removed.
He only realized this when Takaya had regained consciousness.

They had stayed at the hideout for a full 40 days. Even though Naoe hardly slept or rested as he watched over Takaya, occasionally he did leave to change towels, and Takaya had awakened while he was away.

Once conscious, Takaya only gazed at the porch in a dazed manner.

It had been a clean and sunny morning. He would often open the window slightly to let some fresh air into the room. On the wooden porch, a few wild birds would rest and chirp in song. Occasionally, a rabbit would appear on the porch, as if it was waiting for Takaya to awaken.

Takaya had dimly looked at the rabbit.
Suddenly, the rabbit threw up blood,
consequently, writhed in pain until it died.

The same happened with the wild birds.
One by one, they all died.

When Naoe had returned, the porch had been stained with blood, the lifeless bodies of small animals scattered all over. Takaya had been stupefied.

--Takaya-san...

Hearing Naoe, Takaya's line of sight had shifted towards him.
In that moment, Naoe's heart beat differently, as if a spear of air had ripped into his insides. Even though he had immediately braced himself in defense, he still had no idea what was going on. Raising his head, Naoe saw the unthinkable.

Kihachi's onnen, centralized in an unimaginable area.
Takaya's left eye...

His left eye was unusual. The black pupil had turned bright red.
Very much like a red gem. A naked red that looked as if it had been dyed by the scarlet lotus flames.
Feeling his gaze upon him, Naoe had felt as if his body was being invaded by a poison. If he had not prepared himself, he would have vomited blood and fainted. Naoe had looked at Takaya while he desperately fought against the urge to throw up.

Takaya had wavered. He had looked over with an expression that cried for help. But then his face went rigid almost immediately.

At the same time, he had recognized the man before him as 'Naoe Nobutsuna'.

Takaya had become terrified.

I've frightened him...

Takaya had been raided by a wave of terror and shock. His hands had covered his mouth as a wordless cry of grief escaped his lips.

--Takaya-san...!

The person who had died at Hagi city now stood before his very eyes...

Takaya, caught within his chaotic feelings, had shook his head violently, only shouting for him to stay away, as he retreated backwards on his bed. Naoe had gritted his teeth as he approached him tolerating the increase in poison from Takaya's focus.

Takaya's spirit had been broken the moment Naoe had firmly held him down to prevent him from escaping.

His mouth half-open, he had sunk into an inattentive state.

Even though his eyes had lost their focus, poison continued to be discharged.
Enduring the pain raging within his heart, Naoe had embraced Takaya.

Takaya's eyes had merely remained opened.

Thinking that he probably would not hear anything if he had spoken to him, he had only embraced him.

Let him know that, he did not die. That he was truly alive at this very moment.
Let him hear his own heart beat, feel his arm's strength, feel his body's heat, conveying everything to him.

It did not matter how long they stayed this way.


Takaya's left eye was now wrapped in a bandage. A gauze sanctified with a Fudoumyouou incantation was placed beneath.

He never expected him to become like this.

Naoe rested his elbow on the bar table, his hand clasping his forehead.

The light emitted from his demonic eye could kill small living creatures. Even though the dose of Kihachi's onnen managed to explosively recover his memories, he never expected that his body would be permanently damaged. Before the onnen died, Takaya's body had been turned into a poisonous container of its malice.

Now that he thought about it, the kien ishi was strangely similar, perhaps it was somehow related to Kihachi. Because the kien ishi was, like Kihachi, produced from the same spiritual stone by the 'people of the Fire Sign'.

After further observations, he found that the poison not only resided in his vision, every part of his body secreted the poison even though it was most conspicuous in his left eye. His breath, voice -- everything that came from his body was contaminated with Kihachi's onnen.

Of course, he had initially tried to remove it by purification, along with other alternatives within his ability, however his efforts were in vain.

Even though the poison was now concentrated in his left eye, and prevented from diffusing out, he was still afraid that his other organs would injure all the living creatures outside should Takaya's spiritual condition fall into chaos.

The form of the onnen inhabited Takaya's body even though Kihachi's soul had disappeared. Whether it would inflict harm on other people depended on Takaya's spiritual predicament. Even though the situation was now calm, he did not know when this would be disrupted. If that occurred, Naoe would be in danger. Thinking about it, Takaya was like an effervescent vessel of sulphuric acid, dangerous in its unpredictability, not knowing when it may explode. It was impossible for him to come in contact with other people like this.

Thinking up to this point, Naoe laughed painfully.
Impossible for him to come into contact with anyone?
Self-enclosed, like a doll...


Hearing the dripping sound of water, Naoe lifted his eyes. The tap head was probably loose. The sound of the water drops pulsed at a slower rhythm than the heartbeat.
The adjacent room was still silent.
Looks like this would be a very long night.
Even separated by a door, he could still feel his breath.

As long as we stay here, I alone will sustain all the damage.
With just Naoe alone, there was no need to worry about Takaya injuring others.

Even if both our bodies were enclosed here...
As long as the two of them could be together...

Naoe covered his eyes with his hands, mocking himself. Takaya had already become like this. There was no answer whenever he called him, and he never talked. Completely locked within himself.

Has his suffering, deepened to this extent?
He was too naive. And he thought that just by knowing himself to be still alive, he could be saved. This man, was he [Naoe] so narcisstic? Using that sort of attitude to coerce him [Takaya].

Were you expecting this sort of appearance?
Even if he [Takaya] lost his body, lost his limbs, as long as he was by his [Naoe] side, everything was fine. As long as he could touch him, the appearance did not matter.

Are you happy this way?
He would rather live with this appearance than be apart...

He would rather continue like this.

"..."

For how many days, had he sat by his pillow, watching Takaya as he thought.

The same nights, the same room, his soul was here.
The faces of Irobe and Yoshie appeared in his mind, so clearly that he could not ignore them. He could not help but scoff at himself. The expressionless mask that he wore, was precisely a convenient weapon he used to drive away the voice of his own conscience.

You're inherently cold.
No plans to return.
Uesugi Kagetora and Naoe Nobutsuna have died. That should be fine.
Hiding from Irobe and all of them, sheltering Takaya.

To live out the rest of his life with just the two of them. In the deep mountains, with no need to see anyone, with no need to have contact with the world, taking care of Takaya as he quietly lived. How long had he hoped for this sort of life? This place was already peaceful, sharing the land with many animals, and there was a beautiful lake nearby. In summer the fireflies would dance about, in autumn one could hear the call of insects, in winter the white snow would transform the birch trees into a pearly forest. In this beautiful place, Kagetora would only belong to him. No one else would disturb him, he would not be threatened, just the two of them living out their lives together.

Kagetora's eyes would shine, only for him.

There should be so much to be happy about. Just forget about this world and everyone else...

--If you're confused by this matter, you shouldn't waste any more time by being here right?
...Yes, that's right.
Naoe replied to his memories.
I understand, Ayukawa.
Naoe laughed hollowly at his rapidly fading delusions, lying down.
There was no way of forgetting. -- He only comforted himself slightly by weaving baseless fantasies.

Even if he drowned himself in his indulgences, he could not escape from reality.

There's no way of forgetting.

If possible, he really wanted to forget.
On display in the cabinet, was a bottle of foreign wine.
It would be good if he could borrow the wine to forget. But the beguiling power of wine was only momentary, he still had no way of evading reality. Knowing that it was just a meaningless approach, Naoe did not drink. His capacity for liquor was not strong anyway, he would not completely know if he was drunk, moreover the road leading from intoxication always culminated at a dead end.

Alcohol was useless. What he could rely on, was his modest but stable vigor.
-- Before it was too late... Naoe grabbed his hair, covering his face.
Wallowing in all these absurdities, the time had passed so quickly.
If this continues, Kihachi's poison will consume Takaya, his destruction would be similar to setting him on fire.

He just couldn't grasp where the limit was.
If he continued to be confused... it would soon be too late.
He obviously knew, however he could not make up his mind. He was extremely aware of the current situation.
He understood better than anyone else in the world.

Inspecting his hands as he crossed them, Naoe was uneasily grinding his teeth in misery.

I can't do this...
But there was no one else besides him. He could not move his own hands. Yet there was no way he would let another person do this. Absolutely no way. Because he knew this, Kenshin had entrusted his full powers to Naoe. Because he could not do this himself, he absolutely could not let anyone else handle it.

If there was really a God who controlled people's fates in heaven, I will definitely kill him with my own hands.

Naoe's entire body shook. The price for being allowed to live for 400 years was that these words should never be spoken. A person did not decide at will that he would live for 400 years. It would be better to say that he hated this sort of life. But,

Why are the heavens especially cruel to this person?

Naoe's jaw locked, from the spaces between his fingers, he looked up into the air with hateful eyes. His right hand reached into his pocket for a few pills and placed them into his mouth. Chewing on the pills, he stared at the unseen entity, with malice.

The time flowed by without any situation.
He obviously knew，but only let the time passed without doing anything, his guilty conscience was already pricking.
He obviously knew, however...
There was no way of stopping time.
In this entrapment, even if there was a way to stop time...
The black night veiled his face, surrounding the melancholy man.
The man groaned.
At the same time, swallowing the venom called 'Time'.


It was as if the birds knew that dawn was approaching.
He did not know when the forests began to resound with the song of the wild birds. The Eastern sky was still dark, but a small part of it was diluted with red. This period of the sunrise was the most beautiful.
Owing to exhaustion, Naoe had slept for a little while on the bar table. However, he was very sensitive to sounds as a result of his anxiety.

There was the creaking of a window opening.

Takaya-san...?

His eyes snapped open and he immediately stood up, opening the room door. The window was ajar.
Takaya had walked to the porch barefooted.

"Takaya-san..."

Takaya had never once gone outdoors, what was he paying attention to? Standing on the porch, he daftly gazed at the thicket of trees swaying in the mist.

Taking his sleeping gown, Naoe walked up behind him. Originally thinking he had returned to normal, he realized that something was still not right. His eyes were still half-open; his look, apathetic.

"...Did you want a breath of fresh air?"
Naoe approached him.

"You could catch a cold like this. It would be better to put on some outdoor clothes."
Candidly saying this, he covered his shoulders with his sleeping gown. Takaya's head was inclined, as if paying attention to something.

The cool air surrounded the area.
Clouds of mist floated past the cluster of trees. There was a freshness about the soil and the green atmosphere. The forest was overflowing with unpolluted elements.

The birds seemed to know that dawn was approaching.
The white birch forest was resonating with chirps. The cuckoos were singing.
Takaya seemed like he was listening to the cuckoos.

At this moment, a small bird fluttered onto the railing of the porch. It was a strawberry finch that lived in the vicinity. The tuft of feathers on its head made it appear as if it was wearing a red hat. A really adorable wild bird. Probably inhabiting a nearby nest. This species of bird did not often come in close proximity with humans. However, this bird was not afraid of people. It skipped about on the railing using its delicate legs, tweeted and danced in front of Takaya. Takaya's reaction was child-like. A small radiance emanated from his eyes as he stretched his hand towards the finch.

"!...Takaya-san, no!"

It was too late, the finch threw up blood.

Takaya's entire body went stiff. The bird flapped its wings as it fell onto the ground, going into spasms and was soon motionless. It was dead.

Again...

The left eye was covered up. But a small measure of Kihachi's poison always leaked through. The amount was harmless to people but enough to kill small creatures. Once he looked at an object, the visual would connect with his consciousness and stimulate the release. Once Kihachi's poison had been released, something would be invaded. Takaya placidly regarded the bird that was now a corpse.

"Takaya-san..."
Naoe stopped in mid-sentence.

Takaya, in shock and staring dumbly, slowly turned his head as if he was thinking of something.

"Takaya-san!"

Takaya ran out. With his bare feet he swiftly ran down the steps of the porch. Naoe, extremely startled, chased after him. Even though the sleeping gown on his shoulders had slipped off, Takaya did not pay any attention to it.

"Where are you going? Takaya-san!"

Grabbing a hold onto his arm, his grip was promptly flung off. Takaya ran into the dense mist that surrounded the area. This mist was an artificial one, a spiritual fog that can confuse a person. If one lacking in skill entered, he would become lost and not find a way out. This was to conceal the existence of the mountain lodge.

"No, Takaya-san!"

Naoe caught up with Takaya who was unwilling to stop, and strongly wrapped his arms around Takaya from behind, holding him.

"Don't go there, you won't be able to come back."

"..."

Initially thinking that Takaya would struggle, he found no resistance, he only stood there helplessly. Looking at his face, Naoe got a fright.

Tears were streaming down his face.

"Takaya-san..."

He cried without any sound.

Naoe could not say anything. Unable to endure the sorrow surging within his heart, Naoe tightly embraced Takaya.

Takaya cried without any expression on his face.

Naoe pressed his face against Takaya's hair, however Naoe did not close his eyes. His shoulders shaking intensely, his cheeks feeling the texture of his hair, he groaned. The muffled sound of his groans escaped his lips even though he desperately tried to control himself.

Why did the world always force Takaya like this?

Please, stop...

Naoe denounced in his heart.

Isn't it enough?

Why couldn't he be allowed just a small measure of happiness? Why couldn't this small matter be granted? Takaya could not carry on living in this sort of condition. If just being close a living being was a sin, Takaya will not have any other way out. The door to his heart will never open again.

What has this person ever done?

Takaya, like a doll, only looked out impassively.

He only wanted to bravely live his life!

He squeezed around his arms more tightly.
No one answered Naoe's appeals, there was only the hollow mist starting to fade away.
His body was warm, he could feel his heartbeat.

Am I, not good enough?
Had he no way of easing his suffering?
Was there no meaning to whatever he did?
Takaya did not answer.
The morning dew from the grass wet his bare feet.

Showing no discomfort in the cold climate, he continued to stare at the forest without emotion.

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Original fiction © Kuwabara Mizuna.