この夜に、翼を track 08 永诀

From Chinese translations by aquarius封真. End of Book 11.

Draft: Version 1 - final
Notes: 恙 (Tsutsuga), 吉川元春 (Kikkawa Motoharu), 毛利辉元 (Mouri Terumoto), 德川 (Tokugawa), 上杉 (Uesugi)
PS: do not distribute this without my permission

Naoe: Did you come to save me? Or... are you here to kill me?

Takaya: I... came here to confirm the truth. Is it true that you want to leave my side? You want to leave me even though we've come this far?

Naoe: Kagetora-sama...

Takaya: Is it true that you want to stay by Kikkawa Motoharu's side?

Naoe: (astonished) Who said that? (slight pause) That is true, I requested for this. I asked this of Kikkawa Motoharu and have sworned loyalty and devotion to him with my life.

Takaya: What...

Naoe: Motoharu-dono is an excellent man. He is not only a noble person but has attained a profound understanding of literature/culture. I found him very agreeable when I spoke with him, like talking with an old friend. My heart felt at peace. If I were to follow him, I would be able to fully realize my own abilities. I may not be of any use to him, but I still requested for him to accept me, allow me to stay with him.

Takaya: You're lying...

Naoe: Please let us end our relationship. Perhaps you may think it preposterous for a retainer to abandon his lord. But it is painful for me to remain at your side. It seems like we were not suited for each other all along. You must certainly find it dreary as well, for two people not meant for each other to remain together. Let us both be at peace. Rather than forcing ourselves to stay together based on this master-servant relationship, it would be better for us to find someone else that we can naturally get along with.

Takaya: ...

Naoe: Did you come to kill the exile?

Takaya: Naoe...

Naoe: You are the master, so you have the right. It's even pointless to brand me a 'traitor.' Whatever path I may take, I don't have much longer to live anyway. My powers are gone and I am blind. To remain by your side, I would only drag you down, become a burden to you. You won't lose anything by killing a man like me.

Takaya: Why...

Naoe: You have come to kill me, haven't you? You wanted to kill me because I was leaving you right? What I've said is the truth. I won't go back on my word, so please free yourself from this relationship. I am no longer confused about this.

Takaya: ...

Naoe: Just end this relationship. (takes out handgun) You only have to pull the trigger, the bullets have already been loaded. If you cannot forgive me, then end this with your own hands. My feelings won't change. You have let me live... so please end my life with your own hands.

Takaya: Naoe...

Naoe: That is your privilege.

Takaya: Naoe...

(There is a cry from behind)

Terumoto: Ahh... so you're here, you Uesugi demon!

Takaya: What?

Terumoto: Curse you for destroying Mouri, you demons. Mouri won't lose. Tokugawa be damned, I am the general of the western forces. I will certainly not die in disgrace in this snow. Mouri will not be defeated by demons like you! Now die!!

(Takaya is attacked)

Takaya: !!

Naoe: Kagetora-sama!

(Takaya grabs the gun and pulls the trigger)

Terumoto: Argh! (drops down dead - sort of)

Takaya: (trembling) ...ah

Naoe: (gently hugs Takaya) It's alright. Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. (whispering into Takaya's ear) I... love you.

(Takaya still holding the gun, Naoe moves the barrel to his chest)

Takaya: (panicky) Stop it, Naoe!

Naoe: I won't stop.

Takaya: This is wrong, Naoe! Stop it, stop it, Naoe!

Naoe: Please let me be at peace. Grant me this end, please bring all this to an end.

Takaya: No, not like this, this isn't what you really feel, these are not your true feelings!!

Naoe: I will die the instant you pull the trigger, then I can be at ease. 'Death' has already been decided, I've no reason to continue living. Please quickly end this... I want this to end!!

Takaya: You didn't hope for this end, you didn't request for this end! That is the truth, you have never wanted us to end!!

Naoe: I have! All this while... by your side, I have always wanted it. While I hated and loved you all the same, I've always longed for an end to this painful struggle.

Takaya: You don't want this!

Naoe: What do you know!! I want all this to end already. Let me die! Pull the trigger!! I don't want to continue with this sort of life.

Takaya: I won't allow this!!

Naoe: Kagetora-sama!!

Takaya: Then why did you throw away the mirror?!!

Naoe: !!

Takaya: At that time you accepted the male Tsutsuga mirror, choosing to release me from the female mirror. If you had really wanted everything to end, that was your best chance. You could've enclosed our souls within the mirror and sink to the bottom of the lake. We would have our ideal 'end'.

Naoe: Kagetora-sama...

Takaya: But you didn't do that. I understand what you were thinking. You did not want me to live. You did not want us, want our relationship to end... You did not want it to end, you wanted to keep going, hoping for a chance.

Naoe: Kagetora-sama...

Takaya: Although you felt it was hopeless, but you didn't want to give up. Even if it was impractical or loathsome, you still kept your hope for tomorrow. You gambled for a chance at finding something, choosing hope!! Your answer was proof that you always wanted it, was looking for it: your... no, the 'best' way for us to be. This is not how you wanted it to end!

Naoe: (slowly) Did you perhaps... want to sink to the bottom of that lake? ... sealed in the mirror, forever...

Takaya: No, no, I -

Naoe: Just both of us for the rest of eternity... did you want to be sealed in that mirror?

Takaya: No.

Naoe: A world with no pain and nothing to lose. That ideal end. You wanted that end...

Takaya: I've said no, haven't I!! I allowed you this one choice. That's all, whatever I wished for... that...

Naoe: Kagetora-sama...

Takaya: Whatever it is... I won't kill you!

Naoe: Kagetora-sama...

Takaya: Live until the very last second! Live, continue to live... until your last breath... (says in his heart) by my side...

Original fiction © Kuwabara Mizuna.